Apples Keep the Ghosts Away
by Dream Trance
Summary: Collection of light-hearted one-shots in response to Arietta Fenton-Phantom's challenge. Read and have fun! Disappearing Act: A field trip gone wrong leads to an unplanned journey through the Ghost Zone for Casper High students and teachers.
1. 46: Baking

**Well, I had to post _something_ for my birthday ^-^ And for those of you wondering, yes, I'm still working on my other stories. In fact, the GZE chapter is finished, but it's being edited at the moment so you'll have to wait a little bit longer.**

**I'm going to try to update this once a week or every other week, but since I'll be starting college in the fall (hopefully), I don't know how well that idea is going to pan out. Those of you who know me know I've gotten terrible at updating :P One-shots generally take me about a day to do, so this shouldn't interfere with my other stories.**

**As far as pairings go, don't expect a whole lot. I prefer friendship, even between Danny and Sam. However, there will be _some_ pairing oriented shots, and these will range anywhere from DxS to DxV, to (maybe) DPxDF. But if a pairing makes you squirmish, don't worry. I will place the pairing at the top of the page, so if you don't like it, feel free to skip that week.**

**I probably won't be able to do all one hundred, but I'll give it a shot. Advice on improving my writing is greatly appreciated, as always, but please don't be rude and please don't flame.**

**Pairings**: None, unless you count mentions of Sam's feelings for Danny as DxS.  
**This week's apple**: Number 46: Baking.  
**Summary: **In home economics, Tucker and Danny are told to bake a cake. The teachers should know better than to pair those two together when food is involved…  
**Warning**: …Um, a sexist attitude?  
**Genre**: Humor/Friendship

**I don't own Danny Phantom. Technically, the teacher belongs to me, but I don't care about her. Use her if you want. **

* * *

Danny drummed his fingers against the countertop, and the dull _tap-tap-tap-tap_ created a steady rhythm to the Dumpty Humpty song he had stuck in his head. A _tap-tip-tap_ soon joined his beat, adding a new dimension to the cadence. Danny glanced at his best friend, and smiled when he saw Tucker tapping the countertop with his pencil. Tucker returned the expression, but he added a quirked eyebrow. Danny, not one to back down, answered the unspoken challenge by humming softly. As the two reached the chorus, Tucker used his other hand to beat against his leg.

Seconds away from reaching Jonathan's awesome guitar solo, a great _SNAP_ destroyed their tempo and made the boys jump. Danny was so startled, his jump caused his chair to overbalance. Their classmates burst out laughing, and Danny blushed in embarrassment. He quickly climbed back into his seat, but the damage was already done to his reputation.

Their teacher lifted the yard stick from Danny's desk, smirking in satisfaction. "Serves you boys right," she said. "This is Home Economics, not music class. If I catch you goofing off again, I'll be forced to give you detention—and you and I would _both_ hate it if we have to spend more than our allotted hour together."

The two boys blinked stupidly at her.

She growled. "I'll make this simple. If I catch you two playing around in this classroom again, I'll have you lazy yokels scrubbing every inch of my kitchen!" She turned sharply on her heel, and made her way to the front of the class again.

After she'd returned to her lecture and the class stopped paying attention to them, Tucker leaned towards Danny and whispered, "Dude, did she just call us 'lazy yokels'?"

Danny nodded dumbly. "I think she did. What are _yokels_?"

"No clue…"

"I bet Sam would know if she were here…"

"I bet she'd blame the word usage on Ms. Loretta's sexist issues."

"If that's true and she is sexist, how are we even passing?"

Tucker flashed Danny a wide, white smile. "Not even that sexist witch can resist my charms, Danny!"

Danny smirked, and leaned his cheek against his propped up hand. "There are ten girls in this class, Tucker, and we're the only guys. If no girl can resist your charms, how come you haven't got a date yet?"

Tucker flinched, before scowling and muttering something too quiet for Danny to hear.

"What?"

"I said, it's because you keep stealing all the girls!" he whispered.

Danny drew back, blinking in surprise. "What?" He frowned. "What are you talking about, Tucker? I haven't even talked to _half_ these girls!"

"And yet they keep on falling for you!"

"They are not!"

"They are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Prove it!"

"I—"

"Fenton! Foley!"

Danny and Tucker jumped, recoiling away from their counters. But the sound of a large stick striking metal didn't reach their ears and they slowly opened their eyes. Three counters away, at the front of the class, their teacher raised an eyebrow at their odd behavior.

Danny smiled nervously. "Y-yes, Ms. Loretta?"

"Turn to page 324 in your Home Economics book. You and Mr. Foley are baking a cake today."

"_Us_?" Danny asked.

"Bake a _cake_?" Tucker added, equally incredulous.

"By _ourselves_?"

"That is what you are here for, isn't it?" Ms. Loretta demanded. "To learn how to _bake_?"

Half a classroom away, and Loretta's angered presence was still enough to make Danny and Tucker cringe away from her. "Yes, ma'am," they said.

"Good." She returned to calling out groups.

Danny and Tucker looked at each other, flinching in unison.

"I don't suppose you know how to bake a cake?" Danny asked his best friend.

"I know how to _charm_ my mom into making me a cake…" Tucker answered. "You?"

"Jazz usually handles the normal necessities like suppers and birthday parties." Danny pulled his book towards him, and opened to the directed page. "I guess we'll just have to follow the instructions."

"Easier said than done, dude." Tucker tapped his finger below the tsp. symbol. "What does that even mean?"

Danny scratched his head. "Um, I _think_ it means tablespoon…"

Tucker groaned, and dropped his head onto the countertop. "It would be so much easier to get a date with a girl if Ms. Wichita actually paired us up with the opposite sex. I'm always stuck with you in this class!"

"Normally, I'd be insulted, but this time, I agree with you. How the heck does she expect us to bake a cake without a girl's knowledge? They're, like, bred for this stuff!"

"It's a conspiracy! She _knows_ why we signed up for this dumb class, Danny. She _knows_…"

"No, she knows why _you_ signed up," Danny corrected. "_I'm_ here because my best friend insisted he needed a wingman."

"Yeah, but you've turned out to be a _terrible_ wingman. You're supposed to send the ladies my way, not gather your own entourage."

Danny rolled his eyes. "We're back to that? You're being ridiculous, Tuck. None of these girls like me."

"Oh yeah?" Tucker lifted his head, and searched the room. He pointed to Natasha, a geeky redhead with braces and a lot of freckles. "Go ask her for a cup of sugar."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "But…we _have_ sugar, Tuck. Why would I—"

"Just go ask her, clueless!"

Danny pouted, but snatched up a measuring cup. "I'm not clueless…" he muttered to himself, walking off towards Natasha's station. Tucker must have heard, because he chuckled and shook his head at his friend's obliviousness.

Natasha's partner, a brunet named Amanda, spotted Danny walking towards them, and she quickly elbowed her friend. Natasha looked at her, and Amanda answered her silent question by pointing at Danny. Natasha's eyes widened, but she smiled at Danny when he reached their counter.

Danny smiled back. "Uh, hey, Natasha. Hey, Amanda."

"Hey, Danny," they said.

"What brings you over here?" Natasha asked.

Danny held up his white measuring cup. "Tucker sent me over to get some sugar."

Natasha glanced over at his and Tucker's counter, frowning slightly. "Don't you have sugar?"

"Yeah, but something must be wrong with it, because Tucker was really insistent I get some from you guys—er, girls."

Amanda and Natasha shared a look, and then burst out in giggles.

Danny blinked. "What?"

Natasha took the cup from his hands, smiling oddly at him. "It's nothing, Danny. Just a cup right?"

"Yup. Oh, and what does t-s-p stand for?"

"Teaspoon."

"…Oh…" Danny blushed and rubbed his neck, thinking, _Whew, that was close. _

Natasha turned around to get the sugar, giggling softly. Amanda leaned towards Danny, staring eagerly, almost creepily into his eyes. "So has Goth Girl made her move yet?"

Danny leaned back, blinking. "What? What move?" His eyes widened. "Sam's moving? Why haven't I heard of this?"

"Easy there, Danny," Natasha said, turning back around. "Sam's not going anywhere. It's just an inside joke."

"Oh." Danny pointed at the full cup of sugar in her hands. "Is that my sugar?"

"Uh." Natasha blushed, and jerked the cup out to him, the motion sending some of the crystals over the edge. "Yes. Here."

Danny took the cup, and flashed the girls a grateful smile. "Thanks. See you later."

"Yeah…bye, Danny."

Danny waved his hand as he turned around and made his way back to his own station. He heard Amanda say something about brunets, but she spoke too quietly for him to hear. He shrugged. They were odd, but then, all girls except for Sam were a mystery to him.

_Well, _he amended, _Sam is a mystery sometimes too, but she's like one of the guys! …If I said that to her face she'd probably kill me…_

Tucker grinned at Danny once he reached their counter. "So…"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"How did it go?"

Danny set the cup of sugar on the countertop. "I got the sugar. What was wrong with ours, by the way?"

Tucker frowned. "That's it? Just the sugar? You didn't get her phone number or anything?"

"No…" Danny blinked. "Was I supposed to get her phone number for you? Is that what a wingman would do?"

Tucker face-palmed. "My gosh, Danny, you are _clueless_."

Danny glared. "Hey! I'm still new to this wingman stuff!"

"I don't mean that!" Tucker sighed, and looked up at the ceiling forlornly. "Where did I go wrong with him? I taught him everything I know, and yet he turned out like _this_…"

Danny wrinkled his nose, eyeing his best friend warily. "You're…acting weird, dude. …Are you being overshadowed?

"What? Of course not!"

"Then can we just bake the cake already?"

Tucker shrugged. "Might as well. Clearly nothing _else_ is going to happen in this class…And it might be fun…"

Danny chuckled. "If Loretta heard you say that, she'd kick you out of her kitchen for suspicious behavior."

"Good thing she didn't hear it then."

"True." Danny pulled the cooking book towards him, and read a few of the instructions. "Alright. It says we first have to get a large mixing bowl."

Tucker bent down, and reached into the cupboard beneath their counter. He pulled out two bowls. "Red one or blue one?"  
"Does it matter?"

"I guess not." He put the blue one away, and placed the red one on the counter. "Next?"

"Um, 'pour in two cups of all purpose flour'," Danny read.

Tucker cocked his head to the side. "Is there another purpose for flour?"

"I once dumped a bag of flour over myself when I was eight," Danny said slowly. "Dad saw me, shouted GHOST, and brought out his prototype ecto-gun…Does that count?"

Tucker winced. He reached out a hand, and patted Danny's shoulder. "That's rough, dude."

His best friend shrugged; the present had numbed the pain from the past. Danny opened the flour container, and measured out a cup. Tucker watched him pour the fluffy whiteness into the bowl with large, unblinking eyes. Danny repeated the process, and when he poured the last cup into the bowl, Tucker sighed in relief.

"This isn't so bad. We can totally do this!"

"Yeah," Danny agreed, smiling, "so far so good. Next is one, one half cup of sugar." He snatched the acquired cup of sugar off the counter, and dumped it into the bowl. He frowned questionably at Tucker "…Should I get a half cup from Natasha and Amanda, too?"

Tucker rolled his eyes. "No. Our sugar will do."

"If our sugar was fine, why did you make me get some from them?"

"A misguided attempt to help my friend overcome his issues," Tucker responded curtly. "Pour in another cup of sugar already."

"But the book says to only add another half cup."

"So? It's _sugar_!" Tucker waved his hands around. "How can sugar ruin _anything_?"

Danny grinned. "We'll have the sweetest cake in the class!"

"You bet!"

Danny dumped another cup of sugar into the bowl.

"'Half cup of shortening'," Tucker read. He frowned. "What the heck is shortening?"

"I don't know," Danny said. "Is it supposed to make you shrink?"

"Who wants _that_? Leave it out?"

"Leave it out."

"'Three and a half t-s-p of baking soda'…Are you sure that means tablespoons?"

Danny brows furrowed, thinking back. "Um, actually, I think Natasha said it was something else…"

"Like…?"

"…Uh, what's that other measuring spoon?"

"…I don't know!" Tucker threw up a hand. "Do I look like the kind of guy who would know? Why don't you go and ask a girl what it means?"

"_Me_?" Danny asked incredulously. "Why me?"

"Because the girls actually like you!"

"Don't start that again!"

"It's true!"

"It is not!"

"Problem, boys?"

Danny gasped, startled into another jump. His hand knocked against the bowl, and it would have fallen off the counter, if Tucker hadn't jumped forward and caught it. Both boys sighed in relief. They flashed each other triumphant grins, but Ms. Loretta, standing over them, frowned disapprovingly.

"Be careful!" she hissed.

"Sorry, Ms. Loretta," the boys said meekly.

"By the way, teach," Tucker said before Loretta could turn away. "What does t-s-p stand for?"

Loretta scowled. "You would already know the answer to that if you actually paid attention in my class." She walked away, leaving the boys to gape after her without an answer.

"Now that," Danny said slowly, "is one mean teacher…"

"Uh-huh…" Tucker agreed.

Danny rubbed his neck, and asked hesitantly, "What do we do now?"

"We'll use tablespoons," Tucker responded, like it was obvious. "As they say, you're first guess is your best guess…or something like that." He pulled a tablespoon out of the drawer, and started measuring out the suspected amount of baking soda.

"I don't know, Tuck," Danny said hesitantly. "I have a bad feeling about this…"

Tucker scoffed, rolling his eyes. "We're baking a _cake_, Danny. What's the worst that can happen? Worst case scenario, the Lunch Lady makes an appearance and gets in a fight with Ms. Grouch-a-lot…Actually, that'd be totally awesome!" Tucker laughed, imagining the fight. Danny smiled. "Now where's the vinegar? Mom's secret ingredient for everything is vinegar…"

* * *

"FENTON! FOLEY!"

Danny fought evil ghosts on a regular basis, but somehow Ms. Loretta's shouts _always_ made him jump. It made no sense to him! And because the floor was covered in slippery foam, when he landed on his feet, he instantly lost his footing and fell on his butt with splash. Tucker managed to avoid Danny's fate by clinging desperately to the countertop, but his feet did a funny dance over the slick tiles.

Danny pointed a finger at his best friend. "He did it!"

"Lies!" Tucker shouted. He regained his balance, and pointed a finger of his own at Danny. "I'm innocent! _Danny's_ the one who thought t-s-p meant tablespoons!"

"But _Tucker_ was the one who wanted to add the vinegar!"

"And Danny didn't stop me!"

"That explains the foam," Ms. Loretta growled, her voice strained, "but not the flour or the eggs!"

Tucker grimaced as egg yolk slid down his face. "Danny threw eggs at me because he's in some serious denial."

"That's not true!" Danny objected. "I threw eggs at him, because Tucker dumped the flour over m-m-m—ACHOO!" Danny sneezed, and the force of the blast sent his head colliding with the bottom cabinets. The force made the white powder waft off Danny's hair and float around his head. "Ow…"

"But I only dumped the flour over him because I got frustrated with the cake and his cluelessness!"

"I'm not clueless!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"If you're not clueless, then how come you haven't noticed all the moves Sam has made?"

"_What_ moves?"

"You would know if you weren't so _clueless_!"

"I'm not clueless!"

"Yes you are! And you're a _terrible_ wingman!"

"I never even wanted to _be_ your wingman!"

"Good because you _suck _at it!"

"And you suck at baking!"

"Like you're any better!"

"I—"

"DETENTION!"

* * *

**Sorry about the crappy ending. I kinda lost inspiration for it :P**

**I'm not implying guys can't cook—my brother is the second best cook in the family (I'm the first ;D *Mother clears throat* …What?) and my dad cooks us dinner every night, so, no, guys _are_ capable of being excellent cooks…but my sister's old love interest couldn't even make macaroni! He made all the water evaporate, and he _burned_ the noodles! It kinda goes the other way too, though. My sister is…*shakes head* Let's just say, it's a good thing they never hooked up.**

**I got the idea about using vinegar in the cake from my (old) next door neighbor. No, she didn't use it in every recipe—she used it for every home remedy. Aww, you scraped your knee? Here, put some vinegar on it. Your dog has fleas? Vinegar will kill those suckers in no time! One time, I got head lice, and she told my mom to wash my hair with vinegar. Did it work? ...Yup! I never used another girl's hairbrush _ever_ again. *Shudders*  
Bottom line, Vinegar and cake does not mix well...**

**Natasha and Amanda are actually characters from the show; I just gave them names. You can see them at the end of Flirting with Disaster.**

**That's it for now! Leave a review, please! Hope it was funny. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat some cake 8D**

**~Happy birthday to _me_! I'm a hundred and _three_...dah, dah, dah, dah dah...and I want my mom_my_!~ I forgot the song T.T**


	2. 56: Teleport

**I don't know what to say about this one, except it turned out differently than I had planned :P I moved the day I post to Friday so my beta, dragondancer123, will have a chance to edit it. 'Tis worth the wait guys.**

**This week's apple: **#56: Teleport  
**Summary: **Danny finally learned how to teleport, but where is the 'off' switch?  
**Pairings**: None  
**Warnings**: Line-break abuse, some ooc moments, and slightly crack-ish  
**Genre**: Humor/General

**I'm drawing these prompts from a hat, so yeah they're completely random ;)**

**I don't own Danny Phantom.**

* * *

"Hey! Sam! Sam, wait up!"

Sam glanced over her shoulder, and when she saw Tucker chasing after her with an anxious look on his face, she stopped walking down the sidewalk. Without Sam speed-walking down the walkway, Tucker was able to reach her in no time, but he had to bend over and gulp in large breaths as a consequence.

"Something the matter, Tucker?" she asked after giving him a few seconds to catch his breath. "I thought I was meeting you and Danny at school today?"

"Well, yeah," Tucker panted, "that was the plan, but…Have you seen Danny?"

She raised an eyebrow. "No. Why? Did something happen? Is he in trouble?"

Tucker waved his hand, chuckling between gasps. "No…well, yes…well, kind of…"

"Tucker…"

"No, he isn't in any real danger. Yes, his secret may be in jeopardy."

Sam's eyes widened. "What? What happened exactly?"

Tucker stood up straight, using his beret to wipe his sweaty forehead. "Well, this morning, while Danny and I were walking to school, he had a breakthrough on teleporting. He practiced it a couple times by teleporting up and down the sidewalk when no one was around, getting further and further away. He was getting really good at it!"

"O-kay," Sam said slowly, "so somebody saw him doing this?"

"What? No."

"What went wrong then?"

"Well, we were almost to school, so he changed back to Fenton. But a few seconds after he did, he disappeared and—"

_POP!_

"Tucker!" Dannyjumped on Tucker. His best friend screamed, and would have shot three feet in the air if Danny's Hug of Death was any less secure. "Finally! I've been trying to get back to you for who knows how long now! Oh, hey, Sam! Wait, where'd you come from?" He loosened his hold on the trembling Tucker, and looked around. "This…isn't where I left you, Tuck…"

"He came to find me after you apparently disappeared," Sam explained for their shell-shocked friend. "Danny, what's going on? Are—"

"I can't stop teleporting, Sam!" Danny all but shouted, unwrapping one arm from around Tucker so he could wave it around for emphasis. "One minute I'm walking peacefully down the sidewalk, the next I'm in my room! So far I've teleported to school three times, to the Ghost Zone twice, my room five times, yours once, Tucker's three, Vlad's house one time too many, and once I somehow ended up, like, fifty feet in the air! I can't control it!" He released Tucker, and latched onto Sam's shoulders, earning a surprised gasp from the Goth. "Make it stop, Sam! I can't take it anymore!"

"Danny, calm down!" She brushed Danny's hands off her shoulders, but he quickly grabbed her wrists. She scowled, and tried to break out of his grip. "Danny, let go of me before I show a very incriminating photo of you and Tucker to Jazz."

Danny's hands flew away from Sam like she was an evil ghost in disguise. "I thought you burned that!" He hesitated before giving Tucker a one-armed hug again.

Sam smirked. "Why would I get rid of perfectly good blackmail material? Is there a reason you keep grabbing onto us, Danny?"

"Yeah, dude," Tucker said, finally regaining his wits enough to eye his strange friend. "It's getting awkward."

"I am being teleported all over the place without my consent," Danny reminded them, "can't I get a _little_ sympathy from you guys?" They gave him bland, completely unsympathetic looks. "Alright, fine. By holding on to you stationary people, I'm hoping you will anchor me and stop me from teleporting."

"Wouldn't we just teleport with you though?" Sam asked. Tucker's eyes grew large, and he struggled against Danny's hold, but even in human form Danny was stronger than him.

"No," Danny grunted, "because it takes a lot of control to be able to teleport more than one person, and clearly I don't posses any control over this, whatsoever."

Tucker relaxed, but his nose wrinkled. "It still feels awkward, Danny. Go hug, Sam."

"I'm not _hugging_ you," Danny protested. "This is a manly arm grip!"

"It doesn't feel very manly."

"Doesn't look like it either," Sam said, smirking.

Danny huffed. "Fine." He dragged Tucker closer to Sam, and then threw his other arm around her neck before she could protest. Sam gasped and struggled, upset—if her red face was anything to go by—but Danny started walking, and his friends were forced to follow. "Alright! Now _this_ is teamwork!"

"More like kidnapping!" Sam shouted.

Tucker teased, "You know you like it, Sam."

"Oh, yeah, I just _love_ to be held against my will."

"It's only until this stops," Danny tried to reason.

"Oh? And when will that be?"

"Uh…I don't know…"

She sighed, resigned. "This all started after you changed back into Danny Fenton, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, maybe you'll have more control of it if you're in your ghost form. Seems to me your ghost half would have more control over your powers than your human half would."

Danny hung his head, wishing he could face-palm. "I should have thought of that…"

"That's what I'm here for. Now hurry up and change while the streets are empty."

Danny nodded, and in a flash of light, he became Amity Park's number one ghostly hero.

After a few seconds, Sam cleared her throat. "You'll have to let go of us to test this, Danny…"

Danny flinched. "B-but what if it doesn't work and I start teleporting like crazy again?"

"Then we'll just have to think of something else!" Sam hissed, "Now let go of us before somebody sees Danny _Phantom_ hanging out with Danny _Fenton's_ friends!"

Danny grimaced. He slowly, very slowly, released his best friends. They walked a few steps further ahead, before stopping and facing Danny again. He had his eyes pinched shut and his hands fisted at his sides.

"Did I teleport?" he asked, keeping his eyes sealed.

"No." Tucker chuckled. "But you look constipated. Loosen up, dude."

Danny cracked an eye open, but upon seeing the same setting as before, he grinned, and jumped in place. "_Alright_! Way to go, Sam!" He went to high five her, but seconds away from making contact, Danny became consumed by green mist. The mist disappeared along with Danny, followed by a popping sound.

Sam lowered her hand slowly, and exchanged glances with Tucker. "Uh, I guess it didn't work…"

Tucker sighed. "We might as well get to school, Sam. He's not going to show up _here_ any time soon…"

* * *

_POP!_

"_Paradise Lost_!"

Danny's momentum carried him through the motion of the high-five, but because Sam's hand wasn't there to meet his, his swat carried into a somersault in midair. "Whoa!" He righted himself, and jerked his head from side to side. The faces staring up at him were familiar, but the location wasn't since only teachers and their favorites were allowed inside the teacher's lounge…

Danny laughed nervously. "Um, uh, whoops?"

Mr. Lancer was the first to regain his composure. He stood up, and fixed his tie in a nervous habit. "Mr. …Phantom, what is the meaning of this?" Sweat noticeably broke out over his forehead.

Danny flushed. "Um, I'm having a few technical issues with my powers…" He cleared his throat, and floated with his back straight, adopting his 'hero' voice. "Sorry for the inconvenience, citizens. I'll just be going…"

But after a few seconds, Danny still floated in place above their table, staring fixedly into space. The teachers looked at each other in confusion. The Art teacher pulled out a sketch book and started sketching the focused Ghost Boy in profile.

"…Any second now…"

If they had crickets in the staff lounge, they'd be chirping.

"…_Any_ second…"

Mr. Felucca stepped forward, his index finger poised in question. "What power are you having difficulties with, Mr. Ghost Boy? As a scientist, perhaps I can be of assistance."

Danny grimaced. "Uh, actually—"

Ms. Tetslaff slammed a fist on the table, and the sudden violence made Danny start in surprise. "If it's _power_ he's having trouble with, it's _me_ he should be coming to for help! I'll whip him into shape!"

He winced, and drifted away from her. "Uh, it's not really a physical power—"

"I have studied many classical stories that teach great, historical lessons," Mr. Lancer said. "Perhaps one of those will be of some use to you, Mr. Phantom?"

"Thanks, but I don't—"

The Mythology teacher scoffed. "Your literature is of no use to a being of exponential power. My myths have _way_ more value to him than your 'fiction'."

"I don't need—"

The Psychology teacher snapped her fingers. "It may be a psychological! Please feel free to tell me all about your problems. I'm here to help!"

"I don't have a psychological issue! Why does everyone always think that?"

Ms. Loretta gazed at Danny's skinny body with a critical eye. "Perhaps it has something to do with malnourishment. Do ghosts have to eat? I can make you something, boy."

"…Uh…no…"

The Government teacher trembled in his seat, staring up at Danny in fear. "W-we should call somebody about this! Call the Fentons! Call the Guys in White! They'll know what to do!"

The Art teacher reached out and pinched a fold of Danny's jumpsuit. "Is this skintight?"

"Hey!" Danny knocked his hand away and floated a few paces away from him. "No touching!"

"We should give him a physical!"

"He needs to learn a moral lesson!"

"What he needs is more meat on his bones!"

"Oh, how am I going to capture that _glow_…"

"Something must be wrong with the inner workings of his mind!"

"The FENTONS!"

"Perhaps it is his molecular structure that is causing the problem!"

"QUIET!" Danny shouted. The teachers instantly quieted. "There is _nothing_ wrong with my body, my mind, or my morals, _alright_? I just developed a new power and I'm having some difficulty controlling it. That's all!"

The teachers backed away from the panting ghost boy.

Mr. Felucca was the first to gather his courage. He asked, "What kind of power?"

Danny relaxed. "Teleport—"

_POP!_

The teachers gasped, and stared at the spot where the Ghost Boy had once been.

"NOOO!" the Art teacher cried, and threw down his half-complete sketch. "I was so close!"

* * *

_POP!_

"—ation."

"Breach in Sector 8! We have a breach in Sector 8!"

Before Danny had a chance to gather his bearings, several ghost nets crashed into him and bound him to the floor, where the netting touched him, little bolts of electricity shot into his system like static jumping to a doorknob. Danny growled, and struggled against the painful bindings, but the whirring of a ghost gun made him freeze. He looked up into the tinted sunglasses of a GiW operative.

"D-Don't move, Phantom!"

Danny's eyes half-lidded in boredom. "Oh great. The Mr. Clean Groupies…"

"Quiet, ghost," another agent ordered. "We have you surrounded."

Danny looked past the two standing over him. "Let me guess, the reinforcements are invisible?"

Danny wasn't able to see his eyes, but the second agent's brows furrowed, and his mouth turned down.. "I don't like your tone, boy."

Danny used his infamous cocky smirk. "Like I care? With only two agents, why should I worry? I could take you guys out easy."

The first agent, the one who had stuttered, gulped. Without warning, he shot at Danny.

Danny gasped, and dove to the side. He needn't have bothered, though. The shot was way off target. It crashed into the wall five feet behind Danny.

"Agent N!"

Danny eyed the scared agent warily. Like cornered wolves, frightened hunters packing heat were dangerous. "New agent?" he asked the other guy.

He grunted. "As green as they come. Listen, kid," he faced Agent N, "there is a _rhythm_ to these things. We exchange witty banter, and _then_ we start shootin' them."

Agent N nodded his head rapidly. "Y-yes, sir. Understood, sir! Should I tranquilize him, sir?"

"Wow, he is green."

The senior agent scowled. "Tranquilizers don't work on ghosts, recruit. Get your facts straight!"

Agent N stuttered apologies. Danny rolled his eyes, and wished he would teleport out of there already.

"W-what do we do then, s-sir?"

The other agent grinned sadistically. "We shock him until he loses consciousness."

Danny flinched, but tried to hide it. "Gee, so humane. You must be very proud of your species."

"I am." The senior agent pulled a button switch out of his pocket, and poised his thumb above the large red button. Danny breathed in a deep breath, readying a Ghostly Wail. Passing out and transforming in front of them wasn't an option. "Or, I don't care about yours. Prepare yourself, ghost scum."

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

The first thing Danny noticed was the absence of annoying static shocks. The second thing he noticed was the absence of _everything_ else. Including air. He was really glad he took a deep breath before, though the breath was almost stolen from him when he looked down at the Earth. Like, _the_ Earth, the blue _planet_ Earth.

_I'm in space! _He thought, grinning goofily. He gazed around himself in wonder. He had been to space before, but he'd been too busy fighting to really admire the scenery.

Stars in every direction, as far as the eye could see, he was on the sunny side of the Earth, but he could see the moon poking out from behind the rocky planet. A comet was off in the distance, its ice and dust particles trailing behind it as the solar wind tore at the ice rock. He closed his eyes, and lights danced behind his eyelids as the solar wind hit him.

Danny sagged, and his expression became dreamy. _It's so beautiful…this just makes me want to be an astronaut even more! I wish I could stay—Air! _He gripped his throat. _Air! I need air!_

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"_Chronicles of Narnia_!"

Danny gasped in air, like he'd never tasted anything so sweet. Space was awesome, but it'd be a lot better with oxygen.

"Danny Phantom!"

Danny spun around, and found his first period class staring up at him the same way he had stared at Outer Space. A nervous smile worked its way onto his lips. "I'm just dropping by. I'll be gone in a second, so please, don't let me interrupt."

The class started whispering to each other in excitement, looking like they were seconds away from mobbing him. In the back row, he saw Sam scowl. She hated his 'hero' voice. Tucker waved discreetly to him, and Danny subtly nodded back. He was glad Valerie didn't have his first hour…

"Mr. Phantom!"

Danny looked over his shoulder at Mr. Lancer. "Uh, hello again…"

Lancer frowned. "I take it you haven't fixed your 'problem'?"

"…No."

"Then perhaps you would like to sit in for my lesson," he said, smirking like he had just won a contest. "Perhaps you will learn something."

The students screamed. No longer able to contain themselves, they jumped out of their seats and rushed for Danny. He floated out of their reach, feeling nervous and slightly nauseous. Tucker and Sam joined them in order to keep up appearances, and Danny was annoyed to see Tucker filming it all on his PDA. His classmates gathered below him, shouting for autographs.

Danny backed away, breathing fast. "Uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea! Besides, I probably won't be here for much longer, or at least I _really_ hope not, so I—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"…and that is why, I believe we can use the town's little ghost problem to our…" Vlad trailed off when it became apparent he didn't have his audience's full attention. "…advantage…"

Despite the meeting being comprised of mostly professional reporters and self-important civilians, they were whispering rudely amongst each other, laughing and pointing at something behind Vlad. He looked behind him, but all he saw was the red curtain. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"…As I was saying," Vlad said, turning back to the microphone on the podium, "with an interest in ghosts growing worldwide, more and more people will be traveling to Amity Park in search of the fabled beings—one in particular, I might add. I say we encourage this by building tourist attractions that will bring in large crowds of people."

"_What_?" a familiar voice exclaimed. Vlad smirked, his suspicion confirmed. Danny Phantom flew in front of him, his arms thrown out. "You can't bring more people here! I knew you were a fruitloop, Vlad, but this is going a bit far!"

"Ah," Vlad said suavely, "Amity Park's famous Ghost Boy. So nice of you to join us."

"Cut the crap, Vlad…er, Mr. Mayor…" Danny blushed, glancing over his shoulder at the flashing cameras and excited audience.

Vlad chuckled. "If it puts you more at ease, you're welcome to use my first name. It's the least I can do for our star attraction."

Danny refocused his righteous gaze on Vlad, but he floated to the side of him so his back was no longer to the cameras. "You can't bring tourists here, Masters."

"Oh? And why not? It'd be very profitable for this town."

"You mean it'd be very profitable for _you_," Danny corrected. "And you can't bring them here because, in case you haven't noticed, this town isn't very safe. The people living here know to run when a ghosts attack, but tourists will get closer because that's what they came to see. People could get seriously hurt…"

"Do you doubt your ability to protect, little hero?" Vlad questioned, smirking mockingly. "We can use the funds the tourists bring in to hire more _competent_ ghost hunters, so I assure you there is no need for such fear."

Danny scowled at the 'competent' part. "You're making a mistake, Masters. You can hire a _hundred_ ghost hunters, but they won't be enough to—"

_POP!_

Vlad raised an eyebrow. _Interesting… _He hadn't expected the boy to develop his teleportation powers so soon, but his apparent lack of control more than made up for his accelerated ability. He'd make the boy suffer a while longer before he approached him.

He turned back to his murmuring audience. "Any questions?"

The crowd shot to their feet.

* * *

Ms. Tetslaff blew her whistle. Her students looked at her with hope in their eyes and sweat covering every inch of their exhausted bodies. "That's enough for today," she said. "Shower up, you lazy maggots!" The students silently cheered, and limped towards the locker rooms.

Tucker almost fell over in relief. He'd take helping Danny fight ghosts over gym any day. He was tempted to curl into a ball and fake dehydration, just so he could sit and relax for a few seconds. Sadly, it was not to be. Sam bounced to his side, and Tucker for the second time that day cursed the girl's athleticism.

She grabbed his arm, and forced him to stumble towards the locker rooms. He muttered complaints, but being the good friend she was, she ignored them.

"Any sign of Danny since this morning?" she asked him quietly.

"Once," Tucker replied, even his voice sounded tired, "He made a brief appearance in third period chemistry class, and I mean _brief_. He was there for all but five seconds, but it was still enough to disrupt the whole class and get us out of homework." He grinned. "It was awesome! What about you?"

Sam shrugged. "He popped into second period Art Class. _Everybody_ started sketching him, including Mr. Coal." She smirked. "Danny looked _so_ embarrassed."

Tucker chuckled. "I bet. How long did he stay?"

"Five or ten minutes. There were a lot of disappointed groans after he disappeared, but Mr. Coal managed to finish. It looks really cool too…I also heard he made an appearance for History Class, and Government." She rolled her eyes. "The Government teacher tried to call the Guys in White, but he got taken captive by his class."

Tucker laughed. "Oh man! I wish I had seen that!"

"We can ask Danny all about it once we see him again," Sam pointed out. "If he stays long enough…"

Tucker chuckled.

They split into their gender specific locker rooms, waving goodbye. Still chuckling, Tucker grabbed his shower supplies, and strolled into the shower area. Because of a recent ghost attack, tarps littered the area, for once creating some much needed privacy. Too bad Danny was missing it. _Mr. Modesty would most definitely appreciate the seclusion_.

Tucker stripped down, and was just about to turn on the water when…

_POP!_

"Tucker!" Tucker jumped. Danny nearly hugged him like he had that morning, but he stopped at the last second. He pulled slowly away, making a face. "Uh, you're my best friend and everything, Tuck,' he said 'and I love you like a brother, but I am _so_ not touching you when you're naked…"

Tucker hurriedly wrapped his lower half in his towel. "Well no asked you to!" He looked at his best friend, noticing the tousled white hair, the tear in his jumpsuit, and the way his eyes twitched and darted around the room. "Having a rough day, Danny?"

"Like you wouldn't _believe_!" Danny pulled on his own hair—explaining why it was so messy—and stared at Tucker with unnaturally large eyes. "I never know where I'm going, or when I'm going there! It's all completely random! And I've seen things, Tuck! I've _seen_ things…"

Tucker held his fists against his naked chest, mocking a scared expression. "Were they dead people?" he whispered.

Danny blinked, scowled, and crossed his hands over his chest, sulking. "Oh yeah, ha ha. Laugh at the poor kid who just saw Ember and Skulker making out."

Tucker's jaw dropped, and his face turned slightly green.

Danny smirked. "Yeah! Not so funny now, is it!"

_POP!_

Tucker stared at the empty space before him for a moment, wondering where his traveling friend would end up next.

* * *

_POP!_

It happened very fast.

Danny saw what every straight guy dreams about, committed it unintentionally to memory, and was then deafened by shrieks. He screamed too, and quickly covered his eyes with his hands. He turned around, and tried to fly out of the Girl's Locker Room, but he forgot to go intangible, and he crashed into the lockers. The girls started throwing towels, hairbrushes, and other items at him.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" he shouted over their screams, cowering in a corner. "I have no control over where I'm going!"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

Danny was never so glad to hear that sound. Still, he stayed in a fetal position, too afraid to see where he had teleported to. _Maybe if I stay still, _he thought desperately, _I won't teleport!_

"It's alright, Danny," a kind and familiar voice said. "You're safe here."

Danny opened his eyes slowly, and stared up at Clockwork. The Time Ghost in, the form of an old man, smiled kindly back down at him.

Danny grinned and jumped to his feet. "Clockwork! Man, am I glad to see you! Listen, you have to help me! I can't stop teleporting everywhere, and I'm seeing things I really don't want to be seeing, going places I shouldn't be going, and you probably already know about all of this, because you're the Master of Time and everything, but I have to tell you because—"

"Danny, you have something on—"

"—I'm _freaking out here_, because I can't stop teleporting—"

"Danny, your head—"

"—and I'm seeing things I should not be _not_ be seeing, and it won't _stop_, Clockwork, make it _stop_!" Danny leaned his head against his Guardian/mentor's chest, whimpering pathetically. "Make it stop…"

Clockwork hesitated, unsure. He reached up a hand, and patted Danny awkwardly on the shoulder. "I…I'm sorry, Danny," he said, sounding sincerely apologetic. "It's not my place to help you."

Danny's shoulders slumped in defeat. He drew away from the timeless ghost, and shook the hand off his shoulder. "Yeah…I should have figured that…Sorry for putting you on the spot, Clockwork."

Clockwork changed into a toddler. He sighed, and shook his head. "There is nothing to apologize for, Danny. You ask far less of me than most ghosts. However," his tone made Danny glance despondently up at him, "I can tell you it will end soon."

Danny straightened, and his eyes brightened with hope. "Really?"

The Time Master nodded sagely. "Indeed." He smirked, and it was very odd to see such a sarcastic look on a kid's face. "By the way, Danny. You have something on your head."

Danny frowned. He brought his hand to his head and pressed down, immediately feeling something lacy. He grabbed it and brought it down to eye level. It was a white bra. Danny let out a half-yelp, and quickly tossed it away from him. He wiped his hand against his pants, making a face.

Clockwork chuckled, now a middle-aged man. "I thought you were over the 'cootie' stage by now, Danny."

Danny grimaced. "I'm fourteen, and I have an older sister. You do the math."

Clockwork nodded. "Fair enough. You have ten seconds before you teleport again."

Danny looked dismayed. "So soon? Can you tell me where I'm going?"

"Home, Danny. To Fenton Works." Danny smiled in relief. "But you won't get a warm welcome."

He frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Five…"

"Clockwork!"

"Four…"

"I can't believe you're counting down!"

"Three…"

"Whoever heard of Master of all Time counting down the time?"

"Two…"

"'Hey, I'm Clockwork! I'm counting down because I'm _awesome_ like that—'"

"One."

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"GHOST!"

"Ghost!"

"_Warning! Warning! Ecto-entity in the lab."_

Danny blinked. "Wow. What a welcome home…"

His mom grabbed an ecto gun off one of the lab tables, and shot at Danny. He gasped, and quickly dove beneath it, escaping the shot by a hair. Jack shot a net at Danny, but it missed him completely. Still in a ball, it ricocheted off the wall, and expanded over Maddie, knocking her to the ground and sending her gun flying. Danny clamped his hands over his mouth, trying to smother his giggles.

"Jack!" Maddie shouted angrily, struggling inside the net.

"Sorry, sweet cheeks!" Jack dropped the net launcher, and grabbed the weapon they'd been working on before Danny arrived. "I'll get you out of there as soon as I capture this ghost!"

"Jack! We haven't fixed the—"

"BONSAI!" Jack pulled the trigger. Ectoplasmic goop shot into his face.

"—trigger…"

Danny wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed by his father (again), or be grateful he messed up an attack (again). He just chuckled weakly, and rubbed the back of his neck.

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

As soon as the green mist cleared, Danny looked around his new surroundings. What he saw made him grimace, not just because the green and gold color scheme was an eyesore.

"Ah, Daniel. I was wondering when you'd 'pop' in."

Vlad stepped out of a darkened hallway, haunting smirk in place. Danny spun around and crossed his arms over his chest, and lifted an eyebrow. "Do you always have to make a creepy entrance, or is this another fruitloop thing?"

Vlad huffed, looking offended. "It's _dramatic_, Daniel, not creepy."

"Where'd you learn it from, _Villainy__for Dummies_? Seems like overcompensation if you ask me."

Vlad's eyes flashed red, before he schooled his expression into one of mocking regret. "I was going to offer you my expertise on teleporting, but if you're going to be immature, I have more important things to do." He turned around, walking back into the dark hallway.

Danny gasped, and quickly flew in front of the man. "Whoa, hold on!" He held up his hands in front of Vlad, forcing him to stop. "You can stop this? You can make me stop teleporting?" Vlad nodded, and Danny smiled happily. "Great! I—Wait." The smile fell from his face, and he eyed the man suspiciously. "What's in it for you?"

Vlad's lips twisted into a smirk. "No longer naïve enough to expect anything for free. I'm proud of you, little badger. My price is the usual."

"Renounce my dad and become your evil apprentice?" Danny crossed his arms again. "_Forget_ it, Vlad."

Vlad shrugged his shoulders. "Then enjoy the rest of your life filled with uncertainty." He walked around Danny, raising a hand in farewell. "Ta."

Danny winced. He chewed on his bottom lip, thinking. He _hated_ teleporting. If he ever got out of the rut he fell into, he swore the power would definitely be crossed off his list…He groaned, and flew after Vlad. "Vlad wait!"

Vlad halted, his expression triumphant. "Yes?"

Danny refused to meet his eyes. "I…The reward isn't worth the price, Vlad, but…will you teach me to control this power for…Mom's cell number?"

Vlad's eyes sparkled in interest. "You'll give me her phone number?"

It was difficult, but Danny managed to keep from grinning triumphantly. "She'll probably never forgive me, but yes. I mean, it's not like you'll get anywhere with it…"

Vlad smiled cockily. "I assure you, Daniel, I can be quite charming. I'll be your legal father in no time." Danny gagged, and Vlad rolled his eyes. "I suppose we have a deal?" Vlad held out his hand.

Danny stared at it, making a show of hesitating. "Alright…" He reached out and grabbed the other hybrids hand. "Deal."

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

Danny blinked, and when his eyes opened, it wasn't Vlad's ugly décor that greeted his sight, but the Amity's newspaper work office. People occupied cubicles, writing down stories on computers and scribbling notes in their notebooks, but no sign of Vlad.

"No!" Danny screamed, frantically searching the office for his savior. He could have followed him in ghost form. The sound of typing and pencils scribbling on paper instantly ceased, but Danny didn't notice. "I was so close to ending this!" He ran a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth on the open air. "I finally outsmarted the creep, and I get whooshed off before I can even celebrate! Where's justice in that? Is this some great cosmic _joke_? Just—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"GHOST!"

"Jack! Get this net off me!"

"—how many people are laughing at me? The Observants—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"Danny Phantom!"

"—are probably having a grand ol' time laughing at me, the jerks. No doubt Vlad finds this whole thing amusing—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"Breach in Sector 11! Again!"

"—because he's a total bastard like that. Clockwork, Master of all Annoyingness, acted—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"BEWARE!"

"—all sincere, but I bet he's laughing on the inside!"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"Mr. Phantom! A few questions—"

"And don't even get me _started_ on my friends—"

_POP!_

* * *

_POP!_

"—probably laughing about it at this very moment! Some friends!"

"Danny?"

Danny spun around. His friends stared up at him, along with the whole Casper High cafeteria. He was floating over the lunch line, and even the lunch ladies were gaping openly at him. Green slop slipped off one of their spoons.

Danny laughed. "Great. Just great. Of _course _I'd wind up here _again_."

"Danny," Sam hissed, "go invisible!"

Considering the students were starting to rush in his direction, that was sound advice. Danny turned invisible. His fans slowed, groaning in disappointment, but Danny felt no sympathy. He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, and whispered, "I'll meet you guys at our table." She nodded, and whispered the message to Tucker.

Danny sat in his designated seat, and placed his head in his hands, just taking time to relax and not think about anything. A few minutes later, Tucker and Sam sat at the table on either side of him.

"Danny?" Sam asked quietly. "Are you still here?"

Danny nodded his head, but realized they couldn't see it. He sighed. "Yes."

Tucker stuffed some mystery meat into his mouth. "So how's your day been?" he asked cheerfully.

Danny groaned.

"Aw, it can't be that bad." He grinned, and nudged what he hopped was Danny's shoulder and not his head. "Sam says you teleported into the _girl's locker room_ while they were changing…"

Sam stabbed her salad, growling low in her throat. She muttered what Danny assumed were threats against mankind.

"They nearly killed me, Tuck."

"Yeah, but you would have died a happy man!"

Danny's lips twitched. "True…"

Sam slammed her spork down, her face flaming. "We are never speaking of it again, and _you_—" she pointed a threatening finger at Danny's seat "—are going to forget what you saw. Got it?"

"…I don't think I can, Sam…"

Sam growled, and Tucker laughed. Danny smiled, though they couldn't see it, and snuck a green-ish-colored fry from Tucker's tray. Being invisible had its perks.

"The school is in an uproar, Danny," Sam said after a minute of silence. "…More than usual. Valerie is going crazy trying to find you, Paulina constantly fixes her makeup, and the teachers seem to be competing against each other…"

Tucker nodded. "There's even a bet going around about where you'll pop in next!"

Danny raised an unseen eyebrow. "Do I want to know who started the bet, Tuck…?"

Tucker coughed into his fist. "Depends on what you plan to do to him—or her! For all we know, the evil, clever, and no doubt charming mastermind might have been a girl."

Danny rolled his eyes, and stole another fry from the 'clever mastermind'. "Uh-huh."

"Have you learned _any_ control yet?" Sam asked.

Danny grumbled. "No. I convinced Vlad to help me, though."

"How'd you manage that?" Sam asked.

He smirked slyly. "By offering my mom's cell phone number."

Tucker frowned. "But your mom doesn't—" His eyes cleared in understanding. He smiled at Danny. "Niiice, dude."

"So, you know how to stop now?" Sam asked.

Danny sighed. "No. Before he had a chance to tell me, I teleported away."

"Well," Tucker said, "that explains the rant. That must have been really frustrating."

"I wasn't ranting!" Danny protested. "I was…expressing my anger to the universe."

"In other words, ranting," Sam concluded.

"…Alright fine, I ranted."

"Maybe there's a pattern to it," Sam suggested. "You've been here for a while. What are you doing differently now?"

Danny shrugged. "Talking to you guys, focusing on _not_ teleporting so I have a chance to relax."

"Maybe that's the answer then. You just have to concentrate on your surroundings and on staying in one place."

He grimaced. "I don't know, Sam. What about when I—"

_POP!_

Sam groaned, and leaned back in her chair. "Great. Here we go again."

Tucker chuckled. "Look on the bright side, Sam. At least the bet—that I had no part in making—is still on. I'm going to be rich!" He went to grab a fry, but the bucket was empty. He frowned down at his tray. "Where'd my fries go?"

* * *

**I had expected it to be funnier, but this will do. Lol, my sister doesn't like Danny Phantom (she hates the show's graphics/drawing/whatever), but I made her read these, and she loved them ;D I'll turn her into a Phan-freak with fanfiction! Muahah! She'll never see it coming until she's DP obsessed XD**

**I'll continue this...someday. I had to stop more because it was getting too long than because I ran out of ideas, so I have some plans. **

**Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you can!**


	3. 6: Movies

**Whew! Three times in a row with constant updating! I'm on a roll! ...I hope I didn't just jinx myself O.o**

**Sorry it took me a while to reply to the reviews - I've been really busy, between GZE and a mini family vacation, and I'm still not finished! *Dies*  
**

**This Week's Apple**: #6: Movies**  
Summary**: Working at the movies provides some awesome rewards, but they aren't all movie related; sometimes, it's all about the games.**  
Pairings**: Hints of DxS**  
Warnings**: Nope**  
Genres**: Humor/Friendship

**For the sake of convenience:**  
**Yogi**: Tucker  
**Boo Boo**: Danny

**I don't own Danny Phantom or any of the characters mentioned here. Beta'd by Dragon, though she didn't have a whole lot of time because I messed up the attachments. **

* * *

"_**Pssht! **__Boo Boo to Yogi Bear, come in Yogi. Over."_

"_**Pssht! **__This is Yogi Bear. __**Pssht! **__What's your position, Boo Boo? Over."_

"_**Pssht! **__I'm outside room one. __**Pssht! **__The pic-a-nic basket is unguarded; I repeat the pic-a-nic basket is unguarded. Over."_

"_**Pssht! **__Awesome! I mean, Yabadaba Doo!"_

"_**Pssht! **__That's the Flintstones' saying, _Yogi_. Over."_

"_**Pssht! **__You know what I meant, Boo Boo! __**Pssht! **__I'm going in! Over."_

"_Don't even think about it, Tucker."_

"_**Pssht! **__Abort! Abort! Ranger Smith has hijacked our frequency! Abort! Abort!"_

"_You mean the walkie talkies _I_ bought us for _ghost_ attacks?"_

"_Sam, you're breaking character! Er, I mean! __**Pssht! **__There are no ghosts in Jellystone! __**Pssht! **__ Yogi! Something is wrong with Ranger Smith! Over."_

"_Danny—"_

"_**Pssht! **__No, it's me. Boo Boo! She—I mean _he_ forgot my name, Yogi!"_

"_**Pssht!**__ That just means it will be easier to steal the pic-a-nic basket!"_

"_You mean the popcorn machine? Forget it, Tucker."_

"_**Pssht! **__Ranger Smith is approaching the pic-a-nic basket! Maybe we should admit defeat this time, Yogi. The Ranger has a nasty temper when she gets mad."_

"_**Pssht! **__No way, Boo Boo! I'll get that pic-a-nic basket, because I am smart-_er_ than the aver-_age_ be-_ar_."_

"_More like stupider. And stop saying '__**Pssht!**__' These are state of the art walkie talkies. They don't have static."_

"_You're ruining all our fun, Sam…"_

"_Yeah, Sam, if you're not going to play along, then butt out."_

"_Fine, but if you two lose another job—not even because of a ghost this time —don't come crying to me."_

Danny winced. This job was perfect for them, not only because they were all together, but also because it allowed Danny a chance to sneak out unnoticed whenever a ghost attacked.

"Alright, Sam," he spoke to the walkie talkie, but stared at Sam half a room away. "You win. For now."

"_Yeah, Sam!" _Tucker's voice spoke from the talkie. _"Just wait until you have a day off! That pic-a-nic basket full of buttery goodness shall be mine!"_

Danny coughed.

"…_And Danny's!"_

"_Whatever," _Sam said, and even though Danny couldn't see her eyes, he knew she was rolling them._ "It's not like _I'm_ the one who needs the job."_

"Yeah, you're like a bazillionaire, Sam," Danny said. "Shouldn't you have let someone else get this job…Not that I don't like working with you, Sam! Quite the opposite, but um, uh, yeah I'll shut up…" Danny released the button, and breathed in deep breaths to cool his steaming face.

"_Smooooth, Danny," _Tucker said.

"Shut up, Tuck."

"_The only person who would need this job is Valerie, and there is no way I'm letting her work here."_

Danny frowned. "Why? She's fun to hang out with."

"_O' Clueless One, you make life entertaining. Sam doesn't want Valerie to work with you because—"_

"—_She might find out your secret! You two would be rushing off for the same ghost at the same time. Someone would make a mistake."_

"Oh yeah, good point, Sam."

"_Liar! ~Sam is a liar, a liar, a liar…~"_

"_Shut up, Tucker!"_

Danny checked his watch, and grinned when he saw the time. "Lunch time!"

"_YES! Finally!"_

"Now_ what has got you two boys excited? Besides the food…"_

"They installed a new claw machine in the Arcade Room yesterday!" Danny shouted into the talkie. "How can you not know this, Sam?"

"_Uh, maybe because I had yesterday off?"_

"…_Oh…yeah…"_

"_And I have a whole paycheck to waste!" _Tucker shouted_. "To the claw machine!"_

"Wait for me, Tuck!" Danny stuffed the walkie talkie into his uniform's pant pockets and raced to the staff room. He waved as he passed Sam. She sighed, but waved back. She didn't have the same break time as her male friends, but Tuesdays were usually slow days, so she might be able to migrate towards the Arcade Room later if she got lonely.

He and Tucker high-fived as they passed each other in the hall. He heard his friend say a brief 'Hi, Sam' just as Danny reached the staff lounge.

Danny hurriedly punched in his break on the scanner, but accidentally hit a wrong number. He groaned and retyped it, still quickly, but a little more carefully. A muffled voice spoke from his pocket. Danny entered the rest of his number and pulled the walkie talkie out.

"…_believe this!"_ Tucker was shouting. _"I cannot believe this!"_

"Can't believe what, Tuck?"

"_Yeah, Tucker, what are you freaking out about?"_

"_The claw machine!"_

"What about the claw machine?" Danny's eyes widened. "It's not out of order already, is it? I tried to keep all the ghosts away from—"

Tucker started laughing through the speakers.

"…Uh, Tuck?"

"_I think he's lost it, Danny."_

Tucker laughed harder.

"…I think you're right, Sam."

"_N-no, guys, y-you have g-_got_ to see this!"_

"_Can't. I'm not on break."_

Danny took off his red employee jacket and stuffed it into his locker. "I'm still in the lounge, but I'll be there in a bit. You might as well just tell us now, Tuck."

"_It's a Ghost Zone Claw Machine!"_ He started laughing again.

Danny frowned down at the talkie. "A what?"

"_A claw machine with all your ghost enemies inside! In doll form! Ahahaha!"_

Danny grinned. "No way!" He slammed his locker shut and ran out of the staff lounge.

Sam laughed. _"Are you serious, Tucker?"_

"_I'm _dead_ serious! Haha! There's Skulker, Undergrowth, the Box Ghost, Vortex, _Vlad_, Walker, Kitty, and—oh wow!" _He burst out laughing again.

"What? What?"

"_It's you, dude! There's a Danny Phantom doll!"_

Danny stumbled, but managed to catch himself before he fell. "What? I never approved of that!" He passed the snack counter, shouting a quick, "Hey, Sam!"

"Bye, Danny." Through the talkies, she said, _"I'm sure the other ghosts never approved of it either, Danny. Face it; ghosts—even ghostly heroes—have no copyrights in our judgmental__government!"_

"_Oh, man, we have _got_ to get Doll Danny, Danny! This is too weird an opportunity to pass up!"_

"Dude, stop calling me a _doll_."

"…_Plushie Danny?"_

"Still too girly. Just call it a toy or something. I don't want to spend all my quarters trying to get me, though… I'd rather get Vlad." He giggled. "I can't wait to tell him they made him into a _doll_." He paused just outside the Arcade Room. "Wow, I'm actually looking forward to facing Vlad..."

"_Dude, you don't have to use quarters. You have _ghost_ powers!"_

"I—"

"_DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, DANNY! THAT'S STEALING!"_

Danny yelped and dropped the talkie. Inside the Arcade, he heard Tucker do the same. Like he said, Sam was scary when she got angry.

Danny picked up the talkie and spoke into it as he walked into the Arcade, "I wasn't going to, Sam. Gees, I have higher morals than that. I mean I _am_ a superhero—and I have a toy in a claw machine to prove it!"

Tucker grinned, watching Danny walk towards him. _"That, and he's a claw machine addict. There's nothing like the thrill of successfully snagging a toy out of a difficult claw machine!"_

Danny chuckled and high-fived him.

"_Boys."_

Tucker and Danny rolled their eyes and said as one, "Girls." They, of course, kept the comment safely inside the game room.

Danny peered inside the claw machine, staring at his enemies in innocent doll forms. He chuckled. Ember, dressed in her pirate outfit, was pressed against the glass, a guitar accessory in her hands and a sinister smirk on her face. The Box Ghost was holding up a plate with a sandwich on it, buried next to a whimpering Klemper. Vlad Plasmius, smirking cockily, was pressed against Skulker, who wielded an impressively realistic flaming sword coming out of his wrist.

In the center of the cage was Danny Phantom, mischievous smile in place and arms crossed in a leisurely fashion under his DP logo. But the DP toy was buried beneath Walker and a meat covered Lunch Lady.

"This is so weird," Danny said, grinning from ear to ear, "but so cool. We _have_ to get Plasmius. Oh, and Vortex, Ember, and definitely Skulker. And, um, Walker, Fright Knight, and—"

"And you, of course." Tucker's smile was positively crazy as he slipped two quarters into the slot.

"But I'm buried beneath Walker and the Lunch Lady," Danny pointed out. "It will take forever to get me out."

Tucker moved the joystick up and over, directing the claw to hover over Walker. "Not with me here. I'm the best techno-geek around!"

Tucker pushed the red button, watching the crane drop. The claw closed around Walker's head and shoulders. The crane pulled the claw back up, but Walker slipped between the gaps.

"Nooo!" Tucker cried, pulling on his beret.

Danny chuckled. "Looks like the techno-geek got beat by the techno-claw." He scrunched his nose. "Wait, did that make sense?" He shrugged to himself and pushed Tucker aside. "My turn now."

Once again, the claw moved to hover over Walker. "This is how you catch a ghost, Tuck," he said, and then pressed the button. The claw dropped onto the warden. The three prongs closed around him, but as the claw was pulled back up, he started to slip. "No, no, no…" Danny chanted. The prongs caught on Walker's black cowboy hat, and lifted the doll up. "YES! I captured him!"

"You're not out of the Ghost Zone yet, Danny," Tucker warned, and pointed at the wobbling sheriff. The machine jerked the claw towards the hole a little too harshly. The claw lost its hold on Walker's hat, and the doll fell on the Box Ghost.

"Ah, ghost goop!" Danny banged his head against the glass. Twice, for good measure.

Tucker chuckled. "Ghost goop? Did you get that from your dad?"

Danny coughed into his fist. "Uh, maybe…"

"Whatever, just move over, bro." Danny slid to the side obediently, allowing Tucker to stand over the joystick. "I shall get that meat monster."

Danny frowned and looked inside the glass. "The Lunch Lady? Why? I thought we were going after Walker."

"Only because he was blocking you, dude. Now that he's out of the way, the only thing standing between us and your doll is your first real enemy."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Why are we so interested in getting me? And didn't I say not to call it a doll?"

"We want to get you because, uh, hello! You've been turned into a toy! You, Danny Fenton, geeky, unpopular kid of Casper High, are so cool; companies have invested in your image! We need the evidence!"

Danny shook his head. "But it's _not_ me, Tuck. They've invested in Danny _Phantom_, not Danny _Fenton_."

"Dude, don't split yourself in two." Tucker pushed two quarters into the slots. "Danny Phantom _is_ Danny Fenton. They may not realize it, but every time someone cheers Danny Phantom on, they are actually cheering for loser Danny _Fenton_. Even though your Phantom image is the one getting all the recognition and the fame, it's still you who's the real hero." Tucker looked inside the glass from the side, trying to aim the claw just right. "Following that logic, Sam and I are actually heroes too, since we don't get any of the recognition but do hero work too. Hey, does it look good from your angle?"

Danny smiled. Count on his friends… "A little to the right, I think."

Tucker jerked the joystick to the left.

"No, _my_ right."

"Your right _is_ my right."

"Then why'd you go left?"

"I didn't."

"Yes, you did." He heard a voice yelling from his pocket. He pulled out the talkie and asked, "Can you repeat that, Sam?"

"Good enough," Tucker said, and pressed the DROP button.

"_Dash and his cronies are here!" _Sam yelled. _"And it looks like they're heading towards the Arcade! If you're talking about ghosts, or a certain phantom, I suggest you stop."_

"_Oh, relax, Sam. This is a movie theater. They're probably just going to watch a movie or—"_

"Yes!"

Danny jerked his attention back to Tucker. His best friend reached into the cubby shoot and pulled out the meat-covered Lunch Lady.

"I got the Lunch Lady! I won! I won!" He thrust the doll in Danny's face. "I caught the Lunch Lady! _Boo_-yah!" He started dancing around in circles, waving his prize around. Danny rolled his eyes, but allowed the smile pulling at his lips. "I caught the ghost! Me, Tucker Foley, T.F., as in Too Fine of a ghost hunter! Beat that, Dan—"

"Oh great. The _losers_ are here."

Danny and Tucker looked at the entryway, and grimaced in sync.

"Oh great," Danny muttered. "The _idiots_ have arrived." Tucker chuckled quietly beside him.

Dash walked inside the game room, followed closely by Kwan and Brad. After facing the Ghost Zone's fiercest ghosts, Danny now found Dash lacking in the intimidation department. Nevertheless, when it became clear Dash was heading towards the claw machine, he and Tucker meekly backed out of the football players' way.

Dash stepped in front of the claw machine and plastered his face against the machine's glass, gazing inside with triumphant awe. His two pals did the same thing on the machine's remaining sides. Danny and Tucker exchanged looks.

"Awesome!" Kwan cried, spying the Phantom doll.

"I know, right?" Dash said. "I told my dad to make it a Danny Phantom only claw machine, but he wanted to 'appeal to the anti-Phantom populace as well', whatever that means. Who could hate the most awesome guy around?"

Tucker elbowed Danny, snickering quietly. Danny smiled, and shoved Tucker's shoulder.

"I don't know, Dash," Brad said, wrinkling his brow. "It seems kind of weird…Dolls are for girls."

Danny pouted. "He's not a doll."

"Shouldn't you be scrubbing the floors or something, Fen-_toad_?" Dash demanded, glaring at Danny.

Danny glared back. "I'm on lunch."

"We have to get the doll, Brad," Kwan said. "It's our duty as members of the Danny Phantom Phan Club to gather Phantom merchandise and protect his image from losers like _them_."

"Hey!" Tucker protested.

Danny blinked, whispering to himself, "I have a fan club?"

"Alright, alright," Brad said, holding up his hands. "We'll get the doll…for Phantom."

"That's better." Dash shoved two quarters into the slot, and then gripped the joystick, a large, excited grin on his face. The claw moved over the Danny doll, and Kwan and Brad started couching Dash.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Amateurs."

"Go up!" Brad shouted. "You want to snag his head!"

"No, you want to aim it right over his chest!" Kwan corrected. "Go a little to the left."

Tucker tossed his Lunch Lady prize back and forth between his hands. "Think they'll get lucky and snag it?"

"There's only six seconds left on the clock!" Dash yelled, sweating nervously.

"Depends on how many quarters they brought with them," Danny said.

The claw dropped, and the three jocks watched with anxious eyes as the prongs began to close. One prong caught on the Box Ghost, stopping the claw from grabbing their target. The Danny doll was barely jarred as the claw lifted.

Dash growled, and pounded his fists on the glass. "Stupid machine! It must be rigged!"

"Here," Kwan said, stepping in front of Dash, "let me try."

"What will you do if they actually win it, Tuck?" Danny asked.

The claw dropped on the doll, successfully closing around it, but it fell out a second later as the claw rose.

Kwan pouted. "Oh man!"

Tucker scoffed. "Yeah right. They don't even know what they're doing."

Brad's turn at the controls was even less successful. He missed the doll by at least three inches.

"This is so stupid!" he shouted.

"Yeah," Danny said. "I guess you're right. They're hopeless."

Tucker smirked at Danny. "Five bucks says it will take them five minutes to come to that same conclusion themselves."

"Noo! Not again! It's like…butter!"

Danny returned the smirk, shaking hands with his friend. "You're on."

Exactly four minutes later, the jocks ran out of quarters. The DP doll continued to smile mischievously inside his glass cage while his 'Phans' muttered curses and searched their empty pockets.

Danny raised an eyebrow at Tucker. "Is this a draw?"

Tucker sighed. "I should have known not to bet on our football team…"

Brad's eyes drifted toward the two friends standing in the corner, and fell on the Lunch Lady Tucker held nonchalantly in hands. "Hey, you!" Brad called, pointing a finger at Tucker. "Tech-geek!"

"It's Tech_no_-geek!" Tucker corrected angrily.

"Whatever, loser. Just get over here, and get this doll out of the machine for us."

"What?" Tucker cried, as if the jock had told him to eat a vegetable. "That's against the Claw Code!"

"The _what_?"

"Uh," Kwan groaned, "what a _geek_."

"Do as he says, _geek_," Dash said, "or I'll call my father."

"Your father?" Danny asked, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Why would _he_ care?"

Dash looked down his nose at Danny, his smirk superior in every sense of the word. "Because Dad _owns_ this theatre and every theatre in this state. Meaning, he owns _you_. So as the boss's son, you better do as I say, _when_ I say it."

Danny and Tucker looked at each other, grimacing. They were working for Dash's _dad_; that was only slightly better than working for _Vlad_.

"Sam could get us out of this," Danny whispered. "…If she was here…" He placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "You better do as they say, Tuck. It's not like it's a big deal—I won't tell anyone you broke the Code."

"Yeah, but _I'll_ know." Tucker sighed, and handed the Lunch Lady doll to Danny. "Watch her. I have to show some Code-breaking jocks how we ghost hunters do it."

Danny looked down at the Lunch Lady's miniature doppelganger, raising an eyebrow. Tucker squared his shoulder, took a deep breath, and marched up to the claw machine. The jocks gave him room in front of the machine. He slipped two quarters into the slot, and then guided the claw into place above Danny's doll.

"Go down," Dash suggested, his face plastered to the glass again.

"No, he's too far down as it is," Kwan said. "He should go further up."

"Over to the left," Brad said, tapping the glass.

"Up!"

"Down!"

"To the left!"

"Shut up!" Tucker shouted, glaring at the jocks. "I have it under control."

"I hope so because you have only ten seconds left!" Dash glared at Tucker. "If you mess this up, your locker will be your new home."

Tucker flinched. He twitched the joystick a little the right, and then pressed the red button. The claw dropped onto Danny Phantom, and closed around his middle. The football players cheered in excitement, but Tucker bit his lip. Danny stood on his tiptoes, trying to see around them. The claw rose, closing more firmly around the doll and lifting it into an upright position. The doll started to slip through the gaps, and the four humans surrounding the machine hissed anxiously. A prong caught on Danny's folded arms, and the doll was lifted into the air, dangling precariously.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," Tucker chanted, his hands fisted in front of him.

The crane banged against the wall, shaking the claw's hold on Danny. The humans held their breath, watching anxiously as the crane slowly brought the claw and Danny toward the drop. Danny started to wobble, slipping from the prong's grasp. The humans leaned in closer.

Doll Danny slipped from the claws grip, and fell into the drop area.

"YES!" Tucker crowed, jumping into the air.

Dash smirked as he pulled the DP doll out of the shoot. "Nice work…but you're still a loser." He waved to his friends as he strolled out of the arcade. "C'mon, guys. We got what we came for."

"I still think it was a waste of time," Brad groused, following Kwan and his leader.

"Ah," Kwan moaned, "I wanted to wail on the losers…"

"Later," Dash said. "I want to show this to Paulina." The other two grinned at each other, and then ran out of the arcade after Dash.

Tucker slumped, staring after his disappearing prize like a lost puppy.

Danny walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, dude. We don't need some silly doll."

Tucker sighed. "Yeah." He smirked at Danny. "I have the genuine article right here! Whenever I get the urge to capture you, all I need is a thermos."

Danny scoffed playfully. "As if you could ever capture the _real_ me." He pushed Tucker gently to the side. "Now step aside. It's my turn."

"But," Tucker protested, "you're gone…"

"So?" Danny paid the machine, and moved the claw over his target. "I want to get Vlad. If nothing else, I can use it for some misplaced aggression practice…Do you think Sam knows voodoo?"

Tucker leaned against the machine, crossing his arms. "Maybe, but _I'm_ not asking her." He stared through the glass, watching the claw land on Vlad. He pouted as it easily pulled the ghost doll into the air. "No fair. Your doll wasn't so easy to get."

"That's because I was surrounded by other dolls," Danny said, grinning. "I guess they liked me better." The claw dropped the doll, and Danny bent down to pull it out of the shoot. "Alright, _now_ I'm good. We should go eat before—"

"Dude!" Tucker shouted. He tapped the glass, a wide, excited grin on his face. "Another you!"

"What?" Danny looked inside the machine. Where Vlad used to be, a copy of Danny's face in ghost form smirked up at them. The rest of his body was buried beneath other dolls, but they could clearly see his head. "Vlad was blocking me! That's so like him…"

"We have to get it!" Tucker cried, and shoved Danny out of the way.

Danny looked at him like he was crazy. "Tucker, it's buried. Like, _really_ buried. We can't get it."

"Yes we can," Tucker disagreed. "We just have to _un_bury it."

His friend shook his head. "That'll take forever, Tuck! It's not worth it."

Tucker raised one eyebrow at him. "It's not worth capturing your enemies, and doing bodily harm to their doll forms? It's not worth rubbing it in their faces the next time you see them? It's not worth giving the dolls to your dad so he can experiment on them…or play embarrassing games with them? Is it not worth the _revenge_?"

Danny pursed his lips. "…You talked me into it." He grinned. "Let's get Skulker first."

Tucker chuckled. "The creativity of revenge!"

* * *

Sam stared at her two best friends, one eyebrow inching its way up her forehead. "Do I even want to know?"

Danny hugged his dolls against his chest, glancing around the arcade room nervously. "Um…it was for the sake of revenge! And, and…Tucker talked me into it!"

"It wasn't exactly hard to do!" Tucker protested, struggling to hold onto his prizes. "You _wanted_ to catch them all."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Did you take them _all_? That's not exactly fair for the rest of us, you know."

Danny shook his head hurriedly. "We only got ten."

"It would have been eleven," Tucker added, pouting slightly, "if we hadn't run out of money…"

"You didn't waste your whole paychecks on it, did you?"

Danny and Tucker shared a look, before bursting out in laughter.

"Of course we didn't, Sam!"

"Yeah, we're not _stupid_ or anything."

"We're not like those idiots who waste all their money on silly kids' games."

"Yeah, we know when to stop."

"We should stop now."

"Yeah."

Sam shook her head, but her lips lifted in an amused smirk. "Whatever. Your lunch break is over, so you might want to hurry back to the break room."

Tucker gasped. "I missed my twelve O'Clock feeding!" He ran out of the game room, somehow managing to hold onto his dolls.

Danny ran after him, shouting, "Wait for me, Tuck!"

Sam chuckled softly. "Boys." Her eyes landed on the green- and purple-colored claw machine, and with a curious eyebrow raised, she walked over to it. She peered inside the glass, and smirked at the remaining dolls. She had to admit, it was funny to see their enemies like this. One ghost in particular caught her attention. Danny's ghost form lay atop a few ghosts, smirking up at the claw machine players. He wasn't at all buried; he would be easy to snatch up.

Sam bit her lip, and looked around the room to make sure she was alone. "One try won't hurt," she said to herself. She slid two quarters into the machine.

* * *

**Dun, dun, done. If she got the DP doll, do you think she'd sleep with it? That'd be so cute! ...But probably out of character :P  
**

**I used to be a claw machine addict - up until the point I wasted ten dollars trying to get a stuffed cat. Still, if I saw a DP claw machine in the real world...my wallet would run away screaming XD**

**I hope you liked it! Questions? Comments? Ideas? Concerns? Leave them in a review :)  
**


	4. 98: Desert

**This one is a lot shorter, sorry. I couldn't come up with anything for this prompt, so I let the story have free reign, and, well, you guys tell me if I should ever do _that_ again. It started off alright, but then it got weird, so...  
**

**This Week's Apple**: # 98: Desert  
**Summary**: Believing the ghost half will be more open to his offer, Vlad separates Danny in half…But the phantom half comes out with two extra appendages…  
**Pairings**: Nodda  
**Warnings**: Cliché plot, and…well, you'll see  
**Genre**: I honestly don't know…Supernatural/General

**I don't own Danny Phantom. Three cheers for betas! Mine being Dragon, who not only fixed it up, but gave me the confidence to post it. **

* * *

Danny wished he was in a desert. Oh, how he'd prefer the dry hotness of the desert to the metallic coolness of Vlad's 'secret' lab right then. At least, in the desert, he wouldn't have a creepy fruitloop staring at him with a disturbing glint in his eyes.

Danny smiled nervously. "Soo," he drawled, hoping he was the only one to hear the tremble in his voice, "what's the diabolical scheme _this_ time, Vladdy? Another shot at cloning?"

Vlad chuckled, and hooked his hands behind his back. "Your pathetic attempt at banter is amusing, little badger, but I'm afraid you won't be joking much longer."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Duct tape my mouth shut?"

"_That_, dear boy, depends on how loud you insist on screaming."

Alarm bell status? Officially ringing.

"Fruitloop!" Danny shouted. The straps restraining him to the metal table didn't allow for much movement, but Danny managed to kick his feet in Vlad's direction. A vain attempt, considering Vlad stood at least five feet away, but it made Danny feel better knowing he'd tried.

"You don't even know what I'm planning yet, boy!"

"I don't need to know! You strapped a fifteen year old boy to an examination table! That's automatic acceptance into Fruitloop University!" He paused, his eyes slightly crossed. "Wow. Jazz's college craze is really getting to me…"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Daniel. How many times have you been restrained since you got your powers?"

Danny pursed his lips. He tried to count all the times he'd been captured and held against his will, but after he hit ten, he gave up. Point to Vlad. "Okay, fine. But it's not something you should get used to. And that doesn't make you any less of a fruitloop!"

"I'm not a—Enough! This back and forth is pointless." Vlad turned around and began messing with something on the counter. His back blocked Danny's view, but he knew he was running out of time. How long would it take for his family and friends to realize he was missing? How long had he been unconscious?

"It _is_ pointless. So why don't you just let me go and we can call it bygones?"

"I'm afraid not, Daniel." Vlad faced Danny again, his gauntleted hands held up before him. "I've come too far to turn back now."

Danny's breath hitched. He'd only seen those gauntlets once, but once was all he needed for the sight to remain with him forever. "Vlad…" he breathed, "whatever you're planning…don't…"

Vlad raised an eyebrow at his reaction, but advanced on Danny without hesitance. "It's come to my attention, little badger, that you will never renounce your idiot father. Not while your weak, human emotions hold so much sway over your choices, anyway."

Danny's wide eyes remained locked on the gauntlets. "Whatever gave you that idea, Vlad? I-I'm _sure_ we can negotiate about th-this!"

"I'd much rather have a half ghost son," Vlad continued, as if he hadn't heard him, "but I will take what I can get. I'm sure your ghost half will be more reasonable."

"N-no," Danny said, shaking his head widely from side to side, but keeping his eyes on Vlad's hands. "No, I'm sure he won't be."

"All ghosts crave power, Daniel," Vlad said. He now stood over Danny's angled table, the creepy glint in his eyes already contaminating his smile. "Your ghost half will join me, because he will want the power _I_ can offer him." Fearsome claws sprung out of the gauntlets' fingertips, glinting in the lab's fluorescent lights. "Isn't this what you've always wanted, little badger? To be normal? I'm offering you that chance."

Danny stared at the glowing gauntlets, and though he couldn't see them, he was sure his pupils were contracted in fear. The scene of his friends and family being engulfed in a massive explosion before him played out in his mind. They were alive today only because Clockwork was willing to give Danny a second chance; Danny wasn't going to let Vlad take it all away.

Danny thrashed against the straps, throwing his whole body into a desperate attempt to break free. He had to stop Vlad. He had to stop him, or the lives of his loved ones were forfeit. He tried to access his ghost powers, but either the straps were ghost proof or Vlad had shocked him with the Plasmius Maximus, because all his powers were inaccessible.

Vlad brought the gauntlets above Danny's heaving stomach.

"Vlad!" Danny shouted in desperation. "Stop! You don't know what you're doing!"

"Of course I do!" Vlad shouted back. "I'm getting my son!"

"No! Vlad, _listen_ to me! For _once_, you _have_ to listen to me! You can't—"

Vlad thrust his hands into Danny's stomach. Danny threw back his head and _screamed_. It hurt more than he had expected. The time the older, depressed Vlad had done it in the alternate timeline, it had hurt, yes, but it hadn't hurt _this_ much. Vlad's hands inside him, reaching, _searching_ for his ghost, felt like pure unhindered agony. It was invasive, it was torture, but when Vlad's gauntlets finally snagged his ghost, Danny felt like he was dying.

Tears streamed freely down Danny's cheeks. His sweat- and tear-drenched hair clung to his face as he wrenched his head side to side. Vlad began to pull the ghost out, but it got caught. Danny wasn't sure if it was him, the human, or him, the ghost, but one of them—maybe both—clung to the one body. Danny's eyes opened a crack, an unconscious growl escaping his throat as he glared at Vlad. His eyes might have been glowing green, but Danny's whole body was in too much pain to notice.

Vlad's own eyes narrowed. He yanked forcefully on the ghost. Danny cried and arched his back as much as the restraints would let him. His body glowed for a second before the light began condensing around his middle, where Vlad was pulling out his ghost. Danny's breath blew in and out through his clenched teeth. He focused on the sound it made, allowing it to distract him from the pain so he could concentrate on keeping himself whole.

In his mind, he could feel the icy, alien touch that had been a part of him since the accident. He'd become so used to it over time, he barely noticed it. But now he felt it slipping from his mind's grasp. He tried to cling to it, to pull it back into himself. It seemed to clutch him too, but it may have been his disoriented mind playing tricks on him.

He and Vlad battled over the ghost for a couple minutes, gaining and losing in equal amounts. But the pain soon began to overwhelm Danny, and the battle turned in Vlad's favor. With one last howl of pain from Danny, Vlad yanked the ghost free of its human confines.

Danny dropped back to the table, completely spent. He rested his cheek on the cool metal surface, whimpering between gasps. The pain vanished with his ghost, but fear and exhaustion made it difficult to breathe. Because he failed to hold onto his ghost, the future he and Clockwork worked to prevent was taking place.

He closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the creation of his evil self.

But he couldn't shut his ears. He heard Vlad gasp. He heard his ghost's growl of anger. He heard the sound of a crash—Vlad propelled into the wall by the ghost. He heard the gauntlets drop to the ground.

Danny bit his lip. According to the future Vlad's story, the ghost was putting on the gauntlets, preparing to split Vlad as Vlad had separated them. Any second now, he would hear Vlad's screams of agony. The thought should have been gratifying after what the man put him through, but Danny only felt dread and nausea.

Yet the next thing Danny's senses alerted him to, was not the sound of Vlad's screams, but the touch of a cold hand on his shoulder.

Startled by the touch, Danny looked up before he could stop himself. His ghost half stared back at him with eyes that still shone an eerie green. His hair, still white and flameless, fell into his tanned face the way Danny's hair did when it was dry. The ghost smiled, a kind, un-evil smile. It was like looking into a color inverted mirror, rather than Danny's worst nightmare.

Danny blinked, and his jaw went slack. "What? B-b-but I thought…"

His gaze shifted to Vlad, but the man was no help. He could only stare in awe at Danny's ghost. Danny frowned, wondering what Vlad found so amazing about him. He'd seen Danny in that form plenty of times before this.

_Probably admiring his new 'son', _he thought with a snort.

"Astounding," Vlad breathed. He placed a hand against the wall, and used it to level himself onto one knee.

The hand on Danny's shoulder tightened, and Danny glanced at the ghost. His green eyes were narrowed on Vlad, like a wild dog sizing up the likelihood of its opponent attacking.

Vlad paused, before continuing his journey back to his feet. The ghost tensed and crouched over Danny. The boy strapped to the table felt wind blow over his cheek. Vlad froze. The ghost and hybrid stared at each other.

"Boy strapped to the table!" Danny said loudly. The eye-locked duo started. "He wants out so he can go _peee_…" He weakly waved his bound hands for emphasis. "Finish the whole staring contest already so I can _gooo_…!"

The ghost snorted in amusement. He broke eye contact with Vlad, and looked down at Danny. He shifted, and wind blew over Danny again, but this time, he saw them. His eyes widened. Snow white wings poised above them, extended in preparation of flight. Each soft feather emitted a white ghostly aura, and on closer inspection, Danny could see the inner structure of the feathers were the same green as the ghost's eyes.

Danny's eyes followed the wing's curves until it disappeared behind the ghost's shoulder. Danny swallowed. "Um," he said, "Is there a large bird behind you? Because you have, um…" He flapped his hands above the table.

The ghost smirked. "I noticed," he said. The echo distorted the voice and made it hard to recognize, but Danny knew the voice as his own. To hear it come from someone else's mouth was strange…

Vlad stepped forward, and the sound of his boots hitting the metal floor jerked the boys' attention back to him. The ghost…angel…thing…glared at the man, but Vlad didn't seem to notice. He continued to walk toward them as if in a trance.

"…alter science and religion forever," he was mumbling to himself. "But how is this possible? The boy…" Vlad shook his head, and stopped ten feet away from the pair. He cleared his throat. "It's a pleasure to—"

"That _hurt_," the ghost interrupted. Vlad frowned. "And before you ask, no, I have no intention of joining you in exchange for power. Danny and I are leaving, understood?"

Vlad raised an eyebrow. "I see you still retain Daniel's poor manners."

"Well yeah," Danny said. "I mean, he's still me...I think…"

"Except he's separated from your emotions," Vlad said. "As a full ghost, he may not have any emotions at all…If he _is_ a ghost, that is."

"How do you know he doesn't have emotions? Did you predict he'd have wings when you _ripped him out of me_?"

"'_He'_ is still here," the other him grumbled.

Danny gave his twin a strange look. "Dude, you're lit like a light bulb. It's kind of hard to forget you're in the same room."

"Then don't talk about me as if I'm not here."

"I wasn't!"

"Yes, you were. But, at any rate…" The ghost spread intangibility through Danny's body via his shoulder. The feeling was familiar to Danny, but it was strange not being the one in control of the action. The ghost lifted Danny from the table, and wrapped his hands around Danny's biceps. "…it's time to go. Say goodbye to Vlad, Danny." The ghost's wings extended upwards and outwards as he bent his knees.

Danny's eyes widened. "Wait a second! I don't think—"

The ghost simultaneously swept his wings down and pushed off with his legs. Take off was jerkier than Danny was used to, but just as fast. In moments they were flying through the ceiling and into the free, afternoon sky.

Alone, Vlad stared after the pair, his mind struggling to make sense of what he just witnessed.

* * *

**See? This is what happens when you play random shuffle on your music, and then give your muse free reign. *Facepalm* Still, I think it's fairly interesting. The thought that gave birth to it? _Danny must have had a guardian angel looking after him the day he had his accident..._ It's not religious or anything. I'm atheist, but I find angels and other religious beings (djinn (sp?), pegasi, dragons) interesting, and my interests have a way of bleeding into my writings ^-^' I hope I didn't offend anyone.**

**I have more written, but I lost sight of the prompt, so I had to crop it off. There was literal mention of a desert in the beginning, and here at the end we have Vlad all alone without a son - abandoned more or less, which is a synonym for desert. I started developing an actual story outline for it (can you just imagine the reaction of Danny Phantom showing up with _wings_ would have?) and then I was like OKAY! That's enough, stop! I have three stories going already, one of them even already _having_ Danny separated in two! I am _not_ going to start another one just because a one shot got interesting :(**

**...But I'm keeping the outline for possible later use...**

**I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading :D**

**Long sob story short, ****I babysit my (almost) two year old nephew, and he damages my laptop T^T **I have been downgraded from a personal one-person computer, to the family computer I have to share with five other members, at least until the parts I need to fix the laptop come in. What does this mean for you? Updates may or may not be affected. I transferred all my stories and shots to the other computer right before my laptop offlined, but there's something to be said about privacy and not having to share...


	5. 87: Lucky Day

**This one was a _pain_. Hello, Desk! Meet forehead. *_Thunk_*  
**

**This week's Apple:** #87: Lucky Day**  
Summary**: Danny is having a normal teenage day—and it's freaking him out! PrePP**  
Pairings**: Mention of one-sided TxJ, because I felt like experimenting, and I needed something Danny wasn't expecting.**  
Genre**: Humor/Friendship**  
Warnings**: ooc, especially on Danny's part. Plenty of line-brakes so I could cover most of Danny's day.

**I saw my sister's ultrasound the other day *crowd awws* It wasn't _that_ exciting-until they pulled out the 4D wand ;D He looks like a cloud during a sunset! lol, but that aside, it gave me an idea for a one-shot**. **I'm holding off until my nephew is born so I have more material/experience, but I'm still excited about it XD Nine weeks to go! ...And then the chubby, fragile, drool monster will be passed on to _me_ to babysit so the _parents_ can have some 'adult time'. I've been through this before... -_-**

**I don't own Danny Phantom. Everyday Superhero belongs to Smash Mouth (a song I happen to love because it suits Danny so well :P), and as always, thanks Dragon for betaing :)  
**

**I have to admit, this was mostly inspired by Angel Baby1's Deathday Revelations, particularly the first bit. If you haven't read it, then what are you doing reading this second rate one-shot? Go read that one!**

* * *

_Click—"~…just your average, ordinary, everyday, superhero—~"_

_BANG! Crash!_

Danny pulled his smoking hand back under the covers."I hate that song…"

He cracked an eye open to glare at the alarm clock relocated to his floor by his ecotblast. Because shooting his alarm clock had become a morning routine for the stressed hero, and because he had inventors for parents, his alarm clock was _special_. Meaning his mom got tired of buying him a new one every day, and instead made him a clock that couldn't be destroyed via ectoblasts. Ectoblasts released from a gun, anyway. Danny was determined to one day end its existence with one of _his_ shots.

Danny yawned, and pulled his pillow over his head to block the rising sunlight. Hero work was exhausting, especially when most of your enemies were nocturnal. Granted, there were no attacks last night so his sleep went uninterrupted, but it was the first time in a _very_ long while. He deserved a few extra minutes to sleep-in.

Unfortunately, his sister maintained a different outlook.

"Danny!" Jazz called from behind his closed door. "I know you're up—I heard the explosion!"

Danny groaned, and shot a glare at his smoking alarm clock. It was _its_ fault Jazz knew he was awake.

"Your grades will suffer if you're late to school _again_, Danny."

The hero sighed and snuggled deeper into his pillow. He wouldn't be late no matter how long he slept-in. When one can fly over 120 miles per hour, one could usually arrive at school on time.

"Don't make me come in there…"

Danny ignored her, and a few seconds later, he heard the doorknob jiggle. He smirked, and made a mental note to thank Tucker for the new lock.

His sister made a frustrated growling noise only a Fenton throat could produce—not that Jazz would ever acknowledge any family traits. "When did you get a _lock_? Never mind. Danny, get up! It's time for school!"

He snorted. _Danny will _not_ get up…_

"Fine. You've forced my hand, little brother." Jazz raised her voice, "Mom! Dad!" Danny's eyes snapped open. "There's a g—"

"I'm up!" Danny shot out of his bed, but his foot got caught in his blankets and he ended up landing flat on his face rather than his feet. "Ouch!"

"—grease stain on the carpet!"

Even though his face was smarting from the fall, Danny released a relieved breath. He _so_ didn't want to deal with his parents' ghost obsession early in the morning.

"Ten minutes," Jazz said, rapping a couple times against the door to ensure she had his attention, "I expect you ready and downstairs in ten minutes, Danny."

He grunted, irritably kicking the traitorous blankets off his legs. The threat of sending their ghost obsessed parents into his room with guns blazing jolted him into wakefulness more effectively than the cold chill of his ghost sense could ever hope to compete with. He was awake now no matter how hard he tried to fall back asleep. He picked himself off the floor and stumbled toward the bathroom, grumbling about the weirdness of getting threatened with his own parents.

He returned to his room a second later—still muttering under his breath—and grabbed some relatively clean clothes. He walked out of his room again, but stopped and groaned steps away from the bathroom. He spun around, making his way back into his room. The Fenton Thermos sparkled innocently beneath the windowsill, where he had kicked it after it fell out of his backpack last night. The Box Ghost was inside it after attacking five different times yesterday, so rough treatment was acceptable; expected.

He sighed, and picked it up. A hero who had ghostly enemies with the worst timing _ever_, was a hero that needed a ghost capturing soup canister around at all times—_especially_ during the very _private_ act of taking a shower, thank you _very_ much, undead spectators.

* * *

The shower went off without the expected ghost interruption, but there was a brief scare when he knocked the thermos off the sink. Considering the number of times such a fall had released all the captive spirits inside, it was a miracle it held onto the Box Ghost. Still, Danny made a mental note not to leave the Thermos at heights where it would be easy for him to knock over.

No ghosts interrupted his sleep last night, he had managed to avoid being woken by an ecto-bazooka—once was enough, thanks—and he'd had a ghost-free private shower. So far, the morning was going great compared to most.

But as he entered the kitchen…

"Er…" he stuttered, frozen in the doorway. "Mom? Dad? What…?"

His mom smiled brightly at him. "Morning, Sweetie!"

Danny tried to return the smile. Really, he did. It wasn't his fault he was too freaked out to return the cheerful expression. "Mornin'…"

"Danny-boy!" Jack shouted, raising a sausage laden fork in salutation. "Come eat breakfast beside your old man! I saved you some pancakes!"

Danny continued to hesitate outside the kitchen. "You…you did?" His dad _loved_ pancakes. He ate them at the speed of light, so how had he managed to save his son—who loved them just as much—some?

"Well, _a_ pancake."

"Oh." That made a little more sense, but what about the…

"Hurry up and eat, Danny," Jazz said as she sat at the table. "I'm driving you to school today, and I don't want to be late because you decided to dawdle."

"Ah…" Danny blinked. "Right…" He took hesitating steps toward the table, eyeing his smiling family. His mom set a plate full of food at the seat between her and Jack, and patted the chair she was encouraging him to sit in. The boy did, but not without a great sense of foreboding.

Satisfied with Danny's small act of surrender, his family returned to eating their breakfast. Danny grabbed his fork, and stared down at his plate. Sausage, eggs, bacon, and a pancake. He frowned, and looked at the people sitting around him.

Maddie appeared to be…dissecting her eggs, but she stopped as soon as her daughter glared at her. She switched to building something out of her pancakes and sausage, as if she couldn't help herself. Jack wolfed down his food like a starving man, but Danny could see him scratching where normal linen clothes touched his skin. Jazz sat across from Danny, smiling in a very pleased manner, and humming a carefree tune. At first glance they looked like a normal family eating a normal breakfast…but that was the problem.

There was only one explanation for their bizarre behavior, but past experience warned Danny to ask questions first.

Danny slammed his fork down, and glared at his startled 'family'. "Whoever's overshadowing my family better get out of them _right_ now." At least he didn't shoot at them.

'Jazz' slapped her forehead. Their 'parents' stared at Danny with surprised eyes, apparently unfamiliar with his commanding tone, even though he used it on almost every ghost.

"What are you talking about, sweetie?" 'Maddie' asked, frowning in growing concern.

"Yeah!" 'Jack' cried, wearing an offended expression. "No ghost can use Jack Fenton as a human meat puppet!"

"Oooh…" Danny nodded his head in admiration, narrowing his eyes on the skilled imposters. "You guys are good; you captured their mannerisms well. But you can't fool me!"

"Danny," 'Jazz' said, her stolen voice sounding exasperated, "_nobody_ is being overshadowed."

"Oh yeah?" Danny demanded. "Then why aren't Mom and Dad working on an invention? Where are their jumpsuits? Where's one of your psycho-babble books? Why isn't the sausage glowing and plotting our imminent demise? Why are we eating a _normal_ breakfast? And on a _school_ day? Why are you offering to drive me to school? Where are all the gh—"

"Danny!" 'Jazz' yelled over him. "_Nobody is being overshadowed_! I just convinced Mom and Dad to have a normal, non-ghost related day."

"Mom and Dad would never go for that!" Danny denied. He pushed back his chair, and stood over the table, glaring at the pretenders. "Get out of them!"

"Danny, calm down!" his 'mom' shouted, also standing up. In a more gentle tone she asked, "Don't you remember what today is?"

Her expression was one of guilt and concern, and it made Danny pause. But then he scowled and looked away. It was unfair how the ghosts were using his family's faces against him… "No. Why should I? There's nothing important about today. It's not my birthday or anything."

His 'dad' appeared unnaturally subdued as he said, "Today was the day you—"

"Dad!" 'Jazz' interrupted. "Traumatic memories!"

'Jack' winced, and Danny frowned. "What?"

'Maddie' grinned, and waved her hand in dismissal. "Oh, it's nothing, sweetie, really." She sat back down. "Let's just get back to eating our breakfast like a normal family."

Danny's eye twitched.

'Jack', two steps ahead of them and already shoveling food into his mouth, paused to grin at Danny. "Your mother promised me fudge today, so hurry home after school so we can share!"

Danny threw his arms out. "_Dad doesn't share his fudge_! Get _out_ of them before I _make_ you!" His eyes burned with ghost energy.

'Jazz' jumped out of her seat before their 'parents' could notice. "Whoa, look at the time! We're going to be late for school!" She raced around the table and grabbed Danny's arm, dragging him out of the kitchen. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!"

"Unhand me, filthy ghost!"

"I'm _not_ a _ghost_!"

* * *

Jazz and Danny strode through Casper High's main hallway. The few students already loitering stared at Danny, but he didn't notice. Jazz appeared cheerful and content, but her little brother was obviously sulking, his arms crossed and a very prominent pout on his face.

"You didn't have to bring that up," he grumbled.

"You wanted proof I was who I said I was," Jazz replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but you could have said something else—_anything_ but that."

"I needed to extinguish all doubt from you mind."

Danny snorted. "You just wanted revenge."

"I would never do that to you." Jazz smiled at him, but Danny believed he saw smug satisfaction in the expression.

He rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh…" He adjusted the backpack strap on his shoulder, and scanned the hallways for his friends. "Anyway, how did you convince Mom and Dad to have a normal breakfast?"

Jazz shrugged, smirking. "Oh, I just reminded them of a few things after I woke you up…It would have been a dream come true if you hadn't decided to go crazy on us…_again_."

Danny rubbed his neck, chuckling in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Yeah, well, _warn_ me the next time you do something like that. Seriously, I thought I was breakfasting with my enemies…"

Jazz gave him a strange look. "You really don't remember what today is?"

He frowned. "No? Why? What's—Tucker! Sam!"

At his shout, Sam glanced over her shoulder, and Tucker looked up from his PDA. Danny grinned and waved at them, receiving welcoming smiles in return. Tucker pushed off the lockers and practically raced toward Danny and his sister, while Sam slammed her locker shut and approached them more slowly.

Jazz placed a hand on her little brother's shoulder. "I can't believe you forgot, Danny, but we'll talk about it later." She kissed his head.

"_Jazz_!" Danny jerked away from her, and scanned the crowds quickly for witnesses.

Tucker appeared in the new space between them like an apparition summoned, grinning at Jazz in a way he probably thought was charming. "Danny isn't very good with public displays of affection, but I'm game if you feel like bestowing another goodbye kiss."

Jazz rolled her eyes, but smiled in amusement. "When pigs soar and you're taller than me, Freshman." She walked away, waving a goodbye to Sam as she passed her.

Tucker ran a few steps after her. "But pigs _do_ fly in the GZ! And someday I _will_ be taller, and when that day comes, I will _hold_ you to your promise!"

Jazz's laughter rang down the hallway. Tucker pumped a fist in the air, taking her mirth as a sign of victory. Turning back around to face Jazz's little brother and his best friend, he wasn't so sure.

Tucker laughed nervously, and held up his hands in placation. "Uh, just harmless flirting, Danny, honest!"

Danny's dark and unimpressed look didn't change. "That's my sister, Tucker."

"Yeah, but, you have a _very_ hot sister, Danny…"

Danny glared at him, a slight flash of green in his eyes. Tucker gulped.

"Relax, Danny," Sam said once she reached them. "Jazz isn't taking Tucker seriously, and until she does, he's not getting anywhere with her."

Tucker coughed. "Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Sam…"

"Hey, I just saved your life. You're welcome."

Tucker pursed his lips in thought. "Wait, you said _until_ she starts taking me seriously…so I still have a shot!"

Danny growled. Tucker yelped, and dove behind Sam.

Sam sighed. "So much for saving you." She sidestepped around Tucker, and strode down the crowded hallway. "I'm off to class. Don't hurt him too much, Danny."

"No! Don't leave me alone with him, Sam!"

Before Tucker could chase after her, Danny dropped his hand on his shoulder, and the meat-lover chocked on a scream. "So," Danny began in a dangerous whisper, "when did this crush on my sister develop, Tuck?"

Tucker gulped. Was that an…_echo_ he heard in Danny's voice?

* * *

Danny had never looked so happy walking into Mr. Lancer's class, and for a second, Sam seriously worried about Tucker's health. But then their friend staggered into the classroom, looking shaken, but still in one piece. Sam breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't think Danny would actually _hurt_ Tucker, but dealing with ghosts had definitely taught Danny how to be thoroughly frightening.

The two boys took their seats, Danny in his window seat beside her, and Tucker in the desk in front of him. Tucker glanced at Danny, but upon seeing the half ghost's evil smirk, the techno geek shivered, and quickly looked at something less terrifying—like the back-hairs sticking out of Lancer's shirt.

"Geez, Danny," Sam said. "What'd you do to Tucker?"

"Nothing…"

"The moment Jazz takes my flirting seriously," Tucker said in a monotone, "is the moment I sleep with a Thermos under my pillow every night."

Sam gave Danny an incredulous look. Danny countered with one of innocence. "What? It's not _my_ fault Tucker's afraid of ghosts."

"Or a certain phantom, I'm guessing," she said. She sighed, shaking her head. "I told you not to hurt him too much, and that included mental torture, Ghost Boy."

"Oh, he's _fine_, Sam." Danny slapped Tucker good-naturedly on the shoulder. "Aren't you, Tuck—"

Tucker screamed. He tried to leap away from Danny, but his legs got tangled amongst the chair's, ending up kissing the ground instead. Their classmates and Mr. Lancer looked at the group questioningly.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "He, uh, lost the game?"

A second of thought later, half the class shouted in dismay and began throwing erasers and other items at them. The other half just looked confused, but were more than willing to throw things at the loser trio. Surprisingly, Lancer was amongst the former, and though he didn't throw crumpled paper at Danny and friends, he did turn a blind eye to the harmless stoning reenactment.

Danny shielded himself behind his book, saying sorry repeatedly, but his appeals failed to affect his classmates. Tucker cowered beneath his chair, and threw the missiles back at their attackers whenever he could. Sam glared death at the throwers, and as a result, was targeted less.

Eventually, the class lost interest—or ran out of ammunition, and Lancer returned to gathering the overnight essay homework. Danny sighed and laid his book back on his desk, and Tucker warily climbed back into his chair. Both friends waited for him to make a comical remark about how Danny got them in trouble _again_, but none were forthcoming. He handed his homework assignment to Lancer without a comment when the teacher passed his row.

Sam punched Danny's arm. "See? You broke him!"

Danny rubbed his arm, grimacing a little in pain. "First of all: _Ow_! Secondly, I'd say it's an improvement."

Sam paused with her mouth open, thinking about it. "You have a point…but it's weird, so say you're sorry, or say you didn't mean it. Say whatever; just fix him!"

"No!" Danny objected, shaking his head firmly. "Not until he says it!"

"Says what?"

"'That Danny's sister is ugly,'" Tucker listed off. "'I don't enjoy her psycho-babble, and I don't find her odd quirks cute." He blinked a couple times. "Wait, what am I saying? Danny's sister is _adorable_!" Tucker clamped his hands together in front of him, and if he'd been a cartoon character, hearts would be floating around him.

Danny slammed his head on the desk repeatedly.

"Something the matter, Mr. Fenton?"

Danny jerked himself upright. "N-no, Mr. Lancer. Everything's cool."

Lancer rolled his eyes. "Then please hand me last night's assignment, and leave out the jargon while you're at it."

"Er, right…" Danny lifted his purple backpack into his lap, and began leafing through the papers stuffed inside. Tucker and Sam exchanged amused glances, while Lancer watched on in exasperation. For a student that rarely turned in his homework, Fenton sure had a lot of papers…

After a few minutes of fruitless digging, Lancer sighed, and said, "Are you sure you even completed the assignment, Daniel?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Danny upended the bag over the desk, and an avalanche of half-crumpled papers poured onto the tabletop. "I remember doing it because it was actually interesting for once!" He searched the pile in front of him, pushing the odd sheet off the desk if it didn't meet his inspection.

Lancer's eyes narrowed.

"Hey!" Tucker snatched a paper from the crowded desk. "I've been looking everywhere for these notes!"

"Sorry," Danny mumbled, still searching for the due assignment. "I forgot to return them."

"They were from last semester!"

"Well then it's no wonder I forgot!"

When half the pile had been shoved off the desk, and the other half returned to Tucker and Sam, Danny fell back against his seat in defeat. "I must have forgotten it at home, Mr. Lancer. I did the homework—I _swear_ I did!"

Lancer sighed, and rubbed his shiny bald head. "This assignment made up more than fifteen percent of your grade."

Danny winced. "I know…"

"I warned the whole class I wouldn't accept any lates, and that included the excuse 'I forgot it at home'."

"I know…"

"…But I'm willing to make an exception this time."

"I kno—Wait, what?" Danny stared at his strict teacher like the old man had finally gone senile.

Lancer smiled kindly back at him, and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. "You have enough to worry about, Daniel. Just remember to turn-in the assignment tomorrow."

Danny gaped at Lancer. A bird could have flown into his mouth and he wouldn't have noticed. _He knows!_ He thought in panic. _He knows I'm—No, stop! _He took a deep breath. _Think, Fenton. Don't overreact like you did this morning. Maybe Lancer's just being uncharacteristically nice…I hope…_ Danny snapped his mouth shut, and forced a smile on his lips. "O-kay, Mr. Lancer…"

Lancer snorted, and removed his hand from Danny's shoulder. "Well don't dance around in joy or anything."

Danny watched the old man walk away, before looking at his best friends. "What was that about? Lancer _never_ lets me off the hook!"

Tucker smiled dreamily. "Maybe your persuasive, intelligent, and _hot_ sister convinced him to go easy on you…She's so considerate!"

Danny scowled at him. "I liked you better when you were broken…"

* * *

_This is weird…_

The jocks around Danny pumped their fists in the air, shouting encouragements to Dash. Nerds, geeks, and other bystanders winced in sympathy, but seemed unable to look away. No teacher was in sight, so nothing was stopping Dash from his daily nerd wailing. Dash drew back his fist, and the cheering escalated.

Dash's fist made impact with his victim's cheek, and Danny reflexively flinched even though he wasn't on the receiving end. He'd never witnessed these fights on the sidelines before. It was a whole new experience, watching someone else receive the brunt of Dash's anger, and Danny felt oddly torn.

On the one hand, he was Dash's favorite. He was Dash's main target when things went badly for the jock, and he felt relieved not to have to pretend he was weaker, or to pretend the wailings weren't just an irritation.

On the other hand, his mind kept seeing Dash as a ghost and Mikey as the innocent civilian. In instances like these, Danny Phantom would swoop in and save the civilian, and although Dash wasn't a ghost and Danny was Fenton at the moment, the hero felt compelled to play his part.

Which hand should he follow? The one without physical consequences, but left a guilty conscious, or the hand that would lead him to a beating, but would make him proud of himself?

_Eh, what the hell, _Danny thought. _I need some normalcy today. _He took a deep breath, and then stepped forward, escaping the crowd of spectators. "Hey!" he shouted over the cheering. "I thought I was your favorite, Dash! What? Are you replacing me now?"

The cheering ceased and Dash's fist halted inches away from Mikey's gut. The star quarterback turned his head toward Danny, but didn't release Mikey from the lockers. "Get out of here, Fenton. Go play 'hero' with your _girlfriend_." The crowd snickered liked it was the most amusing joke they heard all day. Dash grinned.

Danny's cheeks burned as blood rushed to his face. "Sh-she's not my girlfriend!"

The crowd just laughed louder, and words like 'clueless' and 'dense' passed along his peers. Even Mikey, pinned against the lockers and staring social death in the face, couldn't resist chuckling.

Danny scowled, wondering if every teenager got teased like this, or if he was just special, "Just let Mikey go, Dash."

"Why don't you _make_ me?" Dash sneered, and catcalling from the crowd quickly followed.

The disguised hero grimaced. That was the one thing he _could_ do, but _couldn't_ at the same time. Danny bit his lip. Perhaps he shouldn't have interfered after all. He had hoped Dash would turn on him once he realized his favorite punching bag was in the vicinity. Danny could take a few punches, and a humiliating shove into the lockers, but if Dash wasn't going to play along, then Danny just humiliated himself in front of his peers, and he had nothing to show for it.

"Yeah!" Dash said. "That's what I thought! Stay out of this, _loser_, before I change my mind." Dash turned back to Mikey, readying another punch to his gut.

After the incident with Spectra, Danny was less likely to blow-up upon being called a loser…but that didn't mean he was cured. As soon as the 'L' word passed Dash's lips, Danny's eyes performed a mini lightshow, and his resolve strengthened. If Dash wasn't going to behave like he was supposed to, then Danny would do as he said and _make_ him.

Danny leaped forward and grabbed Dash's arm, right above the elbow. Before the larger boy could react, Danny twisted behind him, and bent forward. He pulled Dash's arm under his body, and Dash let out a startled scream as he rolled over Danny's back. Mikey landed on his butt beside the lockers, while Dash body-slammed the floor on the other side of Danny. Mikey quickly scurried into the hushed crowd.

Danny straightened, dusting his hands off. "There, I made you."

A second later, Danny was shoved against the locker with enough force to steal the breath from his lungs. He clamped his fingers around the wrist holding him against the lockers, and stared into Dash's furious gaze. No doubt Dash was reeling from the blow his pride just took, and his ego demanded painful retribution, meaning a great deal of unpleasantness for Danny in the coming week. Even so, Danny had to fight off a triumphant grin. He'd just succeeded in engineering his own bit of normalcy from the most abnormal day he'd ever experienced.

Dash drew back a fist, and Danny closed his eyes in preparation. It was strange how _right_ this all felt, but Danny wouldn't complain. He needed this piece of daily life he'd taken for granted.

Someone coughed loudly.

Danny warily opened his eyes, curious about why Dash hadn't struck yet. The larger boy stared at his face, his fist poised and unmoving. He stared so intensely at him, Danny shifted uncomfortably in his hold. Dash grunted, and released Danny's collar. Danny landed on the hard floor, gasping in surprise.

"I'm not in the mood today," Dash said, no longer even looking in Danny's direction. He walked away with his shoulders thrown back, and his football buddies immediately fell into step behind him.

Danny gaped at them. He shook off his shock, and chased after Dash. "H-Hey!" he shouted. "Hey! You can't leave! You haven't even shoved me into a locker yet!"

"Get lost, you freak!" one of the players snapped.

Danny slowed to a walk, watching the jocks leave him behind. His eyes narrowed.

_That's it,_ he thought. _I need a ghost…_

* * *

"Don't you think you're being a _little_ paranoid, Danny?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, dude," Tucker said. "There's cautious…and then there's what you're doing…"

"Guys, this is serious!" Danny tightened his hold on the Fenton Anti-Creep Stick, and stared at the students edging around their small group. "Everybody's acting weird, and no ghosts have attacked _all day_! It can't be a coincidence! They could be about to invade! Or Nocturne could have put everyone in a trance again! Or maybe everyone knows my secret! Or maybe Walker's trying to drive me insane by overshadowing people! Or—"

"Or," Sam interrupted, "you could just be overreacting."

"And even if you're not," Tucker added, "what do you hope to accomplish with a _baseball bat_?"

Danny rubbed his neck, appearing embarrassed. "Er, well, during breakfast this morning, I freaked out and almost blew my secret in front of my parents by using my 'scary eyes' to threaten them…"

"Soo," Sam drawled, "you're hoping to avoid a repeat of that incident? In case you do freak out again, to appear normal you'll start swinging a baseball bat around like a crazy person?"

Danny coughed into his fist. "Uh, when you say it like that…"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah, uh-huh. Put the bat away, Danny."

Danny pouted, but placed the Anti-Creep Stick back in his locker. "Happy now?"

"The soup canister is still a bit much," Sam said with a smirk.

The boy hugged the Fenton Thermos to his chest. "Too bad! It's coming with me!"

Tucker laughed. "Yeah, Sam. If you take his '_precious'_ away from him, he'll go Gollum—or rather, _Phantom_ on you."

Danny stuck his tongue out at him, and Sam hid an amused smile behind her hand.

"There's only one more period to go," she said. "You can make it to the end of the school day still sane, right?"

Danny grimaced. "That reminds me—Dad wants to bond over fudge after school today…"

His friends winced in sympathy. Their group started the slow trek toward their next class. Students threw Danny odd looks like they'd been doing all day, but he remained oblivious to the attention. Tucker elbowed Sam, chuckling.

"Today has just been one messed up day," Danny mumbled. "And it's not even over yet!"

"Come on, Danny," Sam said. "Are you sure you're not just looking for trouble?"

"No! That's not it!" Danny ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself. "My parents acted like _normal_ people, my teachers are taking it _easy_ on me, my best friend is crushing on my _sister_—" he threw a glare at Tucker, "—nobody living or dead has tried to beat me up, lunch was actually _edible_, Tetslaff allowed me to sit out for gym, _Paulina_ said _hi_ to me without demanding an audience with Phantom, there hasn't been a _single_ ghost sighting all day, Dad didn't show up when the Ghost Alert was triggered, Jazz—"

"Alright!" Sam shouted. "We get the idea! You're having a typical teenage day."

Danny frowned, perplexed. "Is…is that what this is?"

"Sounds like it to me," Tucker said. "Well, except for Paulina noticing you. How lucky can you _get_?"

"So…so this is what a normal teenager experiences every day?"

His friends nodded.

"…I don't like it…"

"Proud of your uniqueness now?" Sam asked, smirking.

"I…" Danny's forehead creased in thought, and he began muttering to himself, presumably about the pros and cons of being half-dead.

Sam and Tucker allowed him to outdistance them by a few steps. Sam leaned toward Tucker, and whispered, "Should we remind him it's the anniversary of the Accident _now_?"

Tucker chuckled. "Nah, let's let him sweat a bit longer…"

* * *

**I expected more from it, but Dragon assures me it's good, so there's Lucky Day! *Crosses it off the list* There's one more scene I wanted to add, but I couldn't make it work. I'll let you guys know if I add it later.**

**Ghosts didn't bother him because it's technically his Deathday, and the humans were nice to him because Jazz convinced them getting shocked by a large machine is traumatic.**** Jazz is a clever mastermind-she's got the whole school wrapped around her finger XD** Make sense? No? Then leave your concerns and/or questions in a review.

**Thanks for reading! I hope it was entertaining, even if I did fail to get the overall idea across. I blame the line-breaks...Anyway, leave a review, please! I need the encouragement!**

**(I think I'll update this every other week from now on-one week doesn't give me much time to expand the idea, and I have other stories to focus on.)  
**


	6. 95: Rain

**I typed this out in, like, one day. I revived my laptop, sat down, and just speed-wrote three-fourths of the one-shot. So description and such may not be the best.**

**I had so much trouble thinking up a story for this prompt. I had many ideas - just none that I liked. So I reread the last Apple, and...well, a certain paragraph gave me an idea...I probably should have left it alone, but...Sorry, Danny ^-^'**

**Apple**: #95: Rain  
**Summary**: Showering is a private, sacred act for us humans. What aspect of this escapes ghosts?  
**Pairings**: Canon  
**Genre**: Humor and…friendship?  
**Warnings**: Nudity, although nothing explicit. Fairly crack-ish.

**Takes place after Danny loses his powers in Phantom Planet, but before Sam gives him a 'pep' talk.**

**I don't own Danny Phantom**

* * *

Danny tossed his last article of clothing to the side, climbed into the bathtub, and stepped into the hot spray of his shower. He sighed blissfully as the water rained down on his bare skin like tiny pebbles. Steam clouded his inner sanctum, but he couldn't bring himself to taint the heat with cold water. For the past two years he had lived with the cold, well before he developed ice powers, and he craved the heat now like his father craved fudge.

The ex-hero dipped his head under the torrent, drenching his multicolored hair to the point it hung as a wet veil around his face, shielding him from the world. With the water's flow interrupted, the water droplets cascaded onto the bottom of the tub in a jarring, uneven rhythm that was disturbing and not at all relaxing, but Danny endured a full minute before pulling his head out again.

Danny scrubbed his fingers against his scalp, grinning because there were no responsibilities dragging at his heels like heavy chains, no ghost powers to distinguish him from everyone else, no ghosts to worry about at all!

_Getting rid of my ghost powers was the best decision I ever made,_ he thought to himself. He grabbed the shampoo bottle off the shelf and—

"Danny!"

—promptly dropped it, his eyes two sizes too big. _That wasn't Jazz…_

The shower curtain flung open, and Danny nearly had a heart attack because there was a girl standing just outside his shower, and she was most definitely not his sister—or anyone else he was related to for that matter. With a startled squeak, Danny dove for the opposite end of the curtain and wrapped it around his front half like a barrier.

"K-K-Kitty!" he gasped. "W-what are you—how did you—_why_ are you—" Danny cut himself off and frantically searched for the Fenton Thermos. He always used to bring it with him for instances such as this, but that was when he had his powers—he shouldn't have to deal with this crap anymore!

Kitty scowled at him. She negligently shut off the water, still glaring into Danny's eyes. "Don't try to play dense with me, Danny. I know what you did!" She advanced on him from outside the tub, and Danny took a stumbling step back, carefully keeping the shower curtain between him and Kitty's sight. "How dare you!"

"W-What?" Danny stuttered. "Me? You're the one barging in on people's showers!" He meant it to be powerful, accusatory and maybe even frightening in his anger...but his little speech came out as an undignified squeak, his voice cracking on 'showers'.

Kitty paused, blinking. She finally seemed to take stock of his undressed figure hiding behind a semi opaque blue curtain, but instead of blushing, or apologizing, or stammering in embarrassment, or any other kind of acceptable behavior, Kitty smirked. She smirked, and then had the gall to take a second look.

Danny's face, already three shades darker than usual, became even hotter. "Kitty!" He shifted further behind the curtain, now covering up to his neck.

"I never knew you were so toned, Danny…But I'm still mad at you!"

"_Why_?" Danny demanded/begged. "And couldn't you have waited until after my shower?"

"Why? _Why_?" Kitty came within inches of his face. "You gave up your powers, you idiot!" She stabbed his chest with her finger.

Danny tried to jerk away from her, but the wall made a sudden appearance at his back. He stared at Kitty, his mouth agape for a few seconds. "What? _That's_ what you're upset about? _That's_ why you interrupted my shower?"

Kitty placed her hands on her hips, her nose in the air. "Of course it is! Why else would I come looking for you?"

Danny pursed his lips, thinking. Kitty only paid attention to him when she was... "…You're here to make Johnny jealous again, aren't you?"

"So what if I am? He was flirting with some bimbo the other day, so I thought I'd remind him just how lucky he is to have a catch like me…But then you go and ruin all my plans by getting rid of your ghost powers!" Her tiny fist punched his bicep, which didn't really hurt, but made Danny flinch all the same. "You ruined everything! Now what am I supposed to do about Johnny?"

Danny shifted on his feet, distinctly aware of his lack of clothing. "Well, uh, why don't you go, er, _find_ Johnny and just talk it out?"

"Hah! Don't be such a girl." She flicked her wild hair over her shoulder and strolled over to the toilet. She sat primly on the lid, crossing her legs.

Danny's stomach tightened unpleasantly. "Uh, Kitty? That's not—what are you doing?"

"Waiting for Johnny."

"Oh no." Danny shook his head wildly, the motion whipping his wet hair against his face and raining water droplets around him. "No, nonononono! You can't say here! I-I'm taking a shower!"

"So take your shower." Kitty inspected her fingernails; her calm exterior the polar opposite of Danny's panicked sputtering. "You may be a weak, useless human now, but the fact you're naked and we once had a thing should make Johnny suitably jealous."

"Forget jealous! He'll kill me!"

"You could defend yourself if you still had your powers."

"If I still had my powers, you would be _so_—"

"What are you doing with my girl, kid?"

Danny would forever deny he screamed like a girl when Johnny stepped through his bathroom door like the ghost he was. If asked, Danny screamed like a _man_, his voice as deep as Tarzan's and _definitely_ not higher than Starr's on a bad hair day.

Danny backpedaled away from the ghosts, twisting the curtain tighter around his lower body as he went. He stared at Johnny with large eyes, his mouth working uselessly before finally squeaking, "I—_No_! No, _nothing_! Sh-_She_ came in _here_!"

Johnny stepped forward, expression murderous. "Just what are you suggesting about my girl, Phantom?"

Danny stumbled backwards. He held a hand in front of himself, index finger poised. "F-First of all, I'm not Danny Phantom anymore. I gave up my powers—I'm full human now! Can you believe it? I—"

"What? You're not a ghost anymore?" Johnny crossed his arms over his chest, and the smirk that graced his visage would have fit better on Vlad. "Unbelievable. So…you're just a scrawny human now?" He swept his eyes over Danny's form.

A nod of his head was all Danny could manage. Awkward didn't even begin to describe…whatever this was.

"Well that changes things!"

Danny eyed the grinning ghost warily. "Uh, how so?"

"A weak little human can't steal my girl away from me," Johnny said, smirking cockily.

Kitty's eyes narrowed. She stood up and stomped toward her boyfriend. "Just what do you mean by that, Johnny? That I can't date Danny?"

"Whoa," Danny said. "Don't bring—"

"Why would you even want to?" Johnny half chuckled. "He's just a weak human now."

"Hey!"

"Maybe I don't want a strong man," Kitty said. "Maybe I want a man who isn't afraid to talk about his feelings, who likes to cuddle just for the sake of holding me. A man who—"

"Sounds like you want a woman not a man, Kitty," Johnny said, amused.

"I'm serious, Johnny!" Kitty yelled, stomping her foot. "As we stand right now, I'd rather be Danny's girlfriend than yours!"

"_What_?" Johnny exclaimed.

Danny groaned and rubbed the heel of his palm against his forehead. Now that they were officially fighting, it'd take forever to get them out of his bathroom. _Well_, he thought, _it could be worse…_

"Hey! Dipstick!"

"AHH!" Danny whirled around and gaped in horror at the new ghost girl standing in his bathtub. Were they all trying to stop his heart again? He had never felt it beat this fast before. It was practically vibrating! He quickly checked to make the opaque shower curtain was covering every inch of his body below his shoulders. If it was sealed any tighter it'd be a dress.

Ember scowled at the panicked ex-hero. "You got some nerve, baby pop, getting rid of your powers like that."

Still breathing fast and trying to restart his heart, Danny blinked at the dead pop-star. "Wh-what's your problem?"

"My boyfriend has been moping around his lair ever since he found out his favorite prey is no longer special." Her hair flared slightly in response to her anger. "He is acting like a dumped girlfriend, and it's driving me _insane_!" Her fingers fisted a large clump of Danny's shower curtain, and she used her new hold to pull him to within inches of her face. "You are going to fix this. Now."

Danny sputtered incoherently for a second before bursting out, "But I'm naked!"

"Tough cookies," Ember snarled. "You're coming with me so we can find a way to—"

"Hold on, Ember!" Kitty hugged Danny's arm to her chest. "You can't take my boyfriend when he's naked!"

Danny gaped at her. "B-boyfriend? What the—I didn't agree to this!"

"Kitty!" Johnny cried.

"You heard me, Johnny!" Kitty said. "We're _through_! Danny's my boyfriend now."

Danny frantically began trying to pull his arm out of Kitty's grasp. "I never—"

"FRIEND!"

Somebody with cold arms tackled Danny from the side, and the combined efforts of their weight and the ghost's momentum broke the shower curtain rungs. His gasp barely escaped Danny's mouth before both he and the freezing cold ghost tumbled out of the bathtub and into a heap on the bathroom floor. The ghost's arms remained locked around his middle, binding his arms against his sides, and Danny could feel ice begin to seep into his living flesh through the ghost. He shivered uncontrollably.

"Hey! You're killing my new boyfriend!"

"Don't let him go, Klemper!"

"I need him at least half alive, bumble-head!"

"My poor friend!" Klemper shouted into Danny's ear. "Are you all right?"

"G-get o-o-off m-me," Danny managed to say through chattering teeth.

"Not until I know for sure you're—"

A metal boot stomped into Danny's field of vision, and the next thing Danny knew, the cold weight of Klemper's body disappeared. Warmth returned to his freezing body. He shuddered at the feeling. It felt almost like switching between his two forms.

Danny rolled onto his back—carefully keeping the curtain wrapped around him—and stared up into Skulker's narrowed green eyes. He groaned. "Not you too!"

Skulker tossed Klemper aside, where the pajama-wearing ghost collided with the bathroom wall. "I have decided, child, that while you are no longer unique, I shall still hunt you in honor of our past."

"Oh…great…Can we start _after_ I have taken my shower?"

"Hey!" Ember stomped over to Skulker. "You can't barge in here with a new purpose in life after wasting two days of mine!"

Skulker frowned at her like she was crazy. "You were the one telling me to return to the hunt."

"Yes, but not with nothing to show for the two days I had to endure of your sulking!"

"I was not sulking!"

"Then what do you call eating two pints of ice cream every six hours?"

Kitty winced. "Oh, two pints. That is bad for your figure. I don't care who dumped you, always limit yourself to _one_ pint."

Danny sat up and coughed into his fist. "Okay, I am officially creeped out."

"We have more important things to worry about than Skulker's obsession with the kid," Johnny said, earning a glare from the hunter.

"Yeah," Ember agreed, "like revenge for the two days I had to suffer. And we can start by giving the dipstick back his powers."

"But I like being—"

"I'd much rather date a half-ghost than a plain old human," Kitty said.

"Are you even listening—"

Johnny scowled. "I like the kid better when he's weak like this. It'll be so much easier to hurt him."

"I'm supposed to be enjoying my sho—"

Klemper jumped into the air, glaring at Johnny. "Don't you hurt my friend!"

"Why are you guys—"

"I support this idea to return the child to his unique status," Skulker said, grinning toothily.

"That's three out of five." Ember clapped her hands together. "It's decided then. We'll—"

"NO!" Danny shouted. He scrambled to his feet. The shower curtain slipped slightly as he did, but he managed to hold most of it against to his body. "NO! You are not doing anything but leaving! I want to be human! All I have ever wanted was to be human! If you really want a half-ghost freak to play with, then go bother Vlad, because I am taking a shower! Now GET OUT!"

The ghosts stared at him as he panted for breath. They each had varying degrees of emotion written on their faces, but Danny couldn't read them—nor did he care to.

Ember flipped her flaming hair over her shoulder. "Fine," she said. "If that's what you want—"

"YES!" Danny shouted. "That's what I've been saying ever since you all intruded on my—"

"All right, kid," Johnny interrupted. "We get the idea. You don't want us around anymore."

"Yeah," Kitty said. "We can take a hint."

"But you really should consider just what you're giving up," Ember said. She grabbed Skulker's arm and began to drag him toward the wall. "Come on, Skulker. We're leaving."

Skulker pouted. "But I haven't even called him a whelp—"

"_Leaving_, Skulker."

Johnny offered his arm to Kitty. "C'mon, Kitten. Let's blow this popsicle stand."

Kitty sniffed, giving him a cold look. "I'm still mad at you, Johnny, but…" She grabbed his arm. "Maybe you're not so bad after all."

Johnny smirked triumphantly at Danny—who rolled his eyes—and led Kitty through the bathroom door. Danny looked at Klemper, the only remaining ghost. The chubby ghost whimpered pathetically before bursting into a full-out bawl and flying through the ceiling.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. "Yeah," Danny said to himself, "_I'm_ the one who feels guilty when _they're_ the ones who broke into my bathroom. What's with that?" He shook his head forcefully, trying to shake off his guilt. "Ah, who cares? They're not my problem anymore!"

He unwrapped the shower curtain from around his body and climbed onto the tub walls, attempting to reattach it to the bar. Now that the ghosts were gone, he could finally finish his shower in peace—

"I AM THE BOX GHOST!"

* * *

**What happens to Danny next I leave up to your imagination. Me, I like to cause the most problems for Danny, so I'm thinking he screamed as he fell, which made his parents come running in and start blasting at BG while Danny struggles to wrap himself in the curtain again, and yada, yada, yah. I didn't write it because 1. I'm having trouble describing things lately, and 2. I feel like I have already crossed some sort of invisible line...I'm torn between giggling and asking myself what in the world have I just done? O.o**

**This was so awkward for me to write. I wasn't sure what to explain/describe, and what I shouldn't even mention.**

**Poor Danny...But the ghosts just want their favorite enemy back... ;)**

**Anyway, like it? Hate it? Think I crossed a line too? Let me know by pressing that Review button ;) (Replying last time was hectic - I'll do better this time.)  
**


	7. 41: Disappearing Act

**This one is different from my norm. Humor is almost nonexistant here, but hopefully, still entertaining.**

**This Week's Apple**: # 41 Disappearing Act  
**Summary**: A field trip gone wrong leads to an unplanned journey through the Ghost Zone for Casper High students and teachers.  
**Pairings**: Nope  
**Genre**: Drama  
**Warnings**: Mentions character death

******I noticed a large amount of fics in which Lancer and Danny's classmates go into the Ghost Zone, and I sort of challenged myself to come up with an original idea for how they get there. Don't know if I succeeded (I haven't exactly been keeping up with fanfiction lately. Too busy). **I really should stop coming up with half-baked story ideas -_- …

**I don't own Danny Phantom. **

* * *

Long nights of ghost hunting had honed Valerie's senses and perfected her instincts, so even when she was panicking, even when her life was flashing before her eyes, she was planning a course of action. Unfortunately, the only course of action one can perform when one's bus hurdles off the side of a cliff is to pray for a miracle.

Valerie didn't believe in fate, or destiny or even luck, but _something_ must have been smiling on them that day, because instead of experiencing a painful collision with the ground, Valerie opened her eyes to a world of green. There was no rushing of wind coming in through the open windows, there was no ground looming closer at alarming speeds. There was just green skies and black, solid, unmoving _land_.

Valerie exhaled deeply, and wilted against her rough seat as if all her energy had been drained out of her. Previously mentioned honed senses and instincts buzzed against her skull, alerting her that _something _wasn't right. But they had all just survived a fatal crash, and she needed a moment to wallow in the miracle that was life.

Around her, her fellow students started to come to the same conclusion that they were all miraculously still alive. One by one, terrified screams died in their throats, replaced by relieved sighs and joyful weeping. Many smiles were exchanged, and the bus' occupants all reached out to hug one another. Valerie even allowed Nathan to hug her, she was so happy. At the front of the bus, Mr. Lancer and Ms. Tetslaff put aside their differences for a moment to embrace, the bus driver, Larry Taylor, hugged the steering wheel.

But a moment of peace and relief can only last so long, and as Valerie stared over Nathan's shoulder into the green abyss beyond the bus window, her memory and instincts finally made a connection.

"Oh no," she gasped.

She broke out of Nathan's embrace and raced down the aisle. Her peers shouted protests as she literally had to jump over some of them to make it to the front of the bus. She squeezed past Lancer and Tetslaff—somehow managing to evade the latter's surprised grasp—and rushed out the door. She froze a few feet from the vehicle, staring at the unnatural sky above her in horror.

"_The Outsiders_, Ms. Gray," Mr. Lancer scolded, having run off the bus after her, "what is the matter—" He broke off with a gasp. Valerie didn't need to turn around to know he wore the same expression as she.

Other gasps and exclamations of fear followed Lancer's intake of breath, and Valerie glanced over her shoulder. Valerie's actions had drawn the Casper High students' attention to the world outside their bus, and there wasn't an excited or grateful gaze left staring from the vehicle. As they realized they had escaped one catastrophe only to find themselves in another, terror and despair took over their expressions.

Valerie felt her eyes harden, and her jaw lift in determination. As the only experienced ghost hunter there, it fell on _her_ to protect the citizens from the evil ghosts inhabiting the Ghost Zone, and she would _not_ fail those under her care.

"What in the world is going on?" Ms. Tetslaff shouted, marching off the bus. She gestured to the green and black landscape before them. "Where are we? How'd we get here? Lancer! Answer me!"

"You _know_ where we are, Tetslaff!" Lancer yelled back. "You were there during the ghost king invasion—when our city was warped to another dimension! Use your head for once! We're in the Ghost Zone! We're stranded—"

Valerie slapped her hand over her teacher's mouth. Lancer glared down at his rude student, but Valerie's gaze wasn't on him. She searched the terrain, trying to spy any ghosts.

"Sorry, Mr. Lancer," she said mechanically, releasing her teacher's mouth, "but if you keep shouting, you'll draw ghosts to our location."

Lancer's eyes tripled in size from sudden fear. "I—Yes, that is a very real concern. We should get back on the bus!"

He ushered Valerie toward the bus, and though she knew it was a terrible strategic standpoint, she didn't resist. It would be easier to earn everyone's attention if they were all inside the bus and not outside gawking at the alien surroundings. If Valerie was going to lead them safely home, she needed their full, undivided attention.

Tetslaff followed the pair up the stairs, huffing irritably, and Larry the Bus Driver closed the door firmly behind them. The students copied his example, slamming their windows shut and scrambling away from the outside view.

Valerie sat in the second row, behind the teachers. Her new seatmate, Mikey, pressed nervously against her in his attempt to get away from the window, but she pushed him away. The sight of the Ghost Zone wouldn't attack him, and the sooner he got used to the view, the better. While the two teachers argued in front of her, Valerie tuned an ear on what the students were saying.

She heard panicked questions about where they were and how did they got there, but mostly she heard panicked exclamations about not wanting to die. Valerie bit her lip. How was she going to get them all out of this mess?

Lancer stood up, and raised his hands in attempt to draw his students' attention. "Excuse me, I—I said excuse me!" The students continued to talk to each other, their volume escalating as fear made them panic. "Settle down, people!"

"QUIET!" Tetslaff boomed. Her voice overpowered the teenagers' panicked exclamations, and their fear-clouded eyes focused on their teachers.

Lancer cleared his throat. "Thank you, Ms. Tetslaff." She grunted in acknowledgement. "I realize you are all scared, children, but panicking will get us nowhere. We must decide on a suitable course of action to get us out of here. Now I propose—"

Dash stood up. "How did we get here, Mr. Lancer?" he questioned, a quiver in his voice. "We're not…d-dead…are we?" He gripped his red and white jacket letterman jacket, breathing heavily. "I'm too young to die! The best years of my life aren't over yet!"

That started the others off again. The bus filled with panicked exclamations and firm-sounding denials.

"People!" Lancer shouted. "People! Please, settle down!"

"If we are all dead," Tetslaff yelled, "then how are we all still BREATHING?"

A sharp intake of breath followed her exclamation, as if they all needed the confirmation for themselves. Valerie placed a hand over her heart, and was relieved to feel it still beating against her chest. She had been caught up in the fear as well, but that was ridiculous. The Red Huntress would never become a ghost, her natural enemy. No, there was only one explanation for their location.

Valerie took a deep breath, stood up. "Mr. Lancer, I know how we got here." More than a dozen eyes instantly focused on her, and for a second, Valerie felt like backing down. But then she reminded herself what and who she was—a ghost hunter; the Red Huntress—and she squared her shoulders.

"Oh?" Lancer questioned, sounding doubtful. "Please enlighten us then, Ms. Gray."

"I know how we got here," she repeated. "Or at least, I think I do. I learned a lot about the Ghost Zone when my dad helped the Fentons during the Ghost King Invasion—" _As well as some _other_ occasions, _"—and one of the things I learned about were portals. Natural portals that open randomly in our world. It's a stretch, I'll admit, but it's possible a large enough portal opened when our bus was falling, and we fell right through it. Since gravity is almost nonexistent here, we would have landed in one piece."

"As reasonable as that sounds, Ms. Gray," Lancer said, "what are the chances of that actually happening?"

"About one in a million," Valerie said. "Like I said, it's a stretch, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. How else could we have arrived here, alive and well?"

"For the time being, anyway," Tetslaff pointed out. Her meaty hands gripped the back of her seat, and she leaned forward for emphasis. "It doesn't matter _how_ we got here—what matters is how we'll get _out_."

The teenagers muttered fearfully again.

"The Fentons have a ghost portal," Valerie said over the noise, gaining instant silence. Good. They were already listening for her voice. "It connects our world with the ghost world, and it is always in the same location. All we have to do is find it."

"E-easier said than done," Lester piped up. "This place is called the ghost world for a reason. Who knows how large it is? We could search for days—_years_—without finding the portal!"

"Zone," Valerie corrected. "It's more of a Zone. And I have been here before—aside from the Invasion."

"When was this?" Lancer demanded.

"During the flour assignment in—it doesn't matter! The point is, I was taken to a ghost's lair and I—"

"Lair?" one of the students asked.

"Every ghost has a lair, which is basically their home or haunting place. As I was saying—"

Paulina gasped, like she just had a brilliant idea. "We should find Danny Phantom's lair!"

Similar gasps of excitement sounded around the bus.

"He can guide us home!"

"Oh, I want to see where he sleeps!"

"I don't think ghosts sleep, Starr."

"You know what I meant, Ashley!"

"This is awesome!" Dash exclaimed. "I'll get to see my hero without fearing for my life!"

"Yeah," Mikey whispered, "because the Ghost Zone isn't dangerous at all…"

"Phantom doesn't have a lair!" Valerie shouted above the other teenagers.

"But you just said every ghost has a lair," Paulina pointed out.

Valerie hit her forehead. "I mean, Phantom doesn't have a lair in the _Ghost Zone_. He haunts Amity Park, so therefore his lair _is_ Amity Park."

The air of excitement vanished from the bus, replaced once again by fear and desperation.

"But," Paulina persisted, "he could still find us…right? I mean, surely he'll notice I—_we_ are missing?"

"…Maybe," Valerie said reluctantly, "but we don't know for sure, or how long it would take for him to find us. We can't put our faith in such a huge risk. We should try to find the Fentons' portal by ourselves."

"But how will we find it?" Lancer asked.

"Well, as I was saying, I was taken to a ghost's lair with Phantom—" Valerie knew the moment the name passed her lips that she shouldn't have mentioned the troublesome ghost at all. Already she could see everyone's eyes widening; some with curiosity, jealousy or awe. Wielding Phantom's name would clearly gain her instant attention, but it could also cause problems, particularly with the A-list crowd.

"Yeah," she said before her peers could say anything, "I was kidnapped with Phantom, but that's irrelevant at the moment. The point I'm trying to make is that I have been here before…and I found my way back. If we can find this ghost's lair, I can guide us to the Fentons' portal."

Lancer stared at her with an intense gaze. "Are you _sure_, Ms. Gray?"

Technically, Phantom had overshadowed her and then brought her back home. Until she saw the destroyed flour sack, she had even thought it was all a dream. However, she had been half aware the whole time Phantom had flown her body through the Zone, and she was positive she could lead them through the same route as soon as she recognized the scenery.

Valerie nodded. "Yes."

Lancer nodded as well. "All right, then. We'll follow Ms. Gray to the Fentons' ghost portal. Any objections?"

The occupants of the bus exchanged glances, looking for a black sheep who would speak up. Paulina made a noise like she wanted to say something, but as soon as all eyes focused on her, she quieted. However, she held her head high, defiant. Valerie made a mental note to keep an eye on her.

"It's decided then." Lancer turned around and placed a hand on the driver's seat. "Mr. Taylor, can you—"

Larry turned the key in the ignition, and the bus's engine rumbled…briefly. Larry's eyes narrowed. He tried again, but received the same result. He tried two more times, but the bus remained inactive.

"Looks like we're walkin'," Tetslaff said, smirking at Lancer's panicked expression.

"Bu-but—" he protested.

"No buts, Lancer. The bus won't start, and that means we're hikin'."

Lancer shuddered. "Fine. We'll…walk. But we're following safety precautions, meaning a _strict_ buddy system that I will assign."

The bus full of students groaned unhappily.

"Like I haven't heard that before," Lancer said, rolling his eyes. "Please leave the bus as soon as you are assigned a buddy. Tetslaff and Mr. Taylor, you two—"

"I'm not goin' anywhere, Mr. Lancer," Larry said. He rubbed the bus's steering wheel. "My gal needs me."

Lancer frowned. "Mr. Taylor, your…dedication is admirable, but I must insist we all stay together."

"Nah, I'll be fine. I'll wait here while you all find help."

"Mr. Taylor, you do realize how dangerous this is?"

"I'm not leavin' my bus," Larry said, more forcefully. "If I manage to fix her before help arrives, I'll come looking for you, but I'm not leavin' her."

Lancer pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't force you…Fine. You can stay. Tetslaff can buddy with…" He grimaced. "I was planning to pair myself with Ms. Gray…"

"I'll buddy with Valerie," Paulina said loudly. She smiled sweetly at Valerie, but the expression made the alarm bells in the Huntress's head ring. "We have a lot to discuss, I'm sure."

"Fine, fine," Lancer said, determined to get it over with. "Valerie with Paulina, Tetslaff with myself. Dash, you buddy with Kwan."

The two football players high-fived. They and Paulina walked to the front of the bus, and Valerie, sighing, followed them out the bus door. Once outside, the popular kids gawked at the green world around them. Valerie scanned the horizon, but as far as she could tell, they were all alone. The bus had landed on a large slab of rock that was surrounded by other floating rocks. To escape their hell hole, Valerie figured they would have to leap across those rocks until they found more solid land or a more effective way to travel.

Paulina spun on Valerie, "Tell me everything you know about Phantom."

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You said you were kidnapped with Phantom. Tell me about it, and don't leave anything out."

Valerie crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin defiantly. "Why should I? It's none of your business."

"Phantom _is_ my business," Paulina said, her pretty eyes glaring at Valerie. "As his future girlfriend, I have the right to know about his past."

"Oh, please…"

"Don't act as if it's impossible!" Paulina shouted. "You've seen the way he looks at me. He obviously has a thing for me!"

"He's a _ghost_, Paulina!"

"So?"

"So? _So_?" Valerie restrained the impulse to try to reboot Paulina's brain by hitting her skull. "He's _dead_. Dead beings can't feel, can't love. Whatever delusional fantasy you have going, I suggest you give it up, because it is _never_ going to happen."

Paulina scowled, offended. "Like, what is _wrong_ with you? Ghost or not, Danny Phantom is a hero! He probably even saved you that time you two were kidnapped."

A corner of Valerie's lips turned down. "No, that was—"

Lancer stepped off the bus. "Has anyone seen Peter?" he asked.

Valerie blinked and looked around her. While she and Paulina had been talking, the other students had left the bus and gathered around them. None of them, however, was Peter.

"Isn't he still on the bus?" someone asked.

Lancer shook his head. "This is everybody…"

If Peter wasn't on the bus or with them now…

Valerie swallowed. Around her, her peers gasped as they came to the same conclusion.

"M-maybe he took a bathroom break?" Nathan suggested.

The students latched onto this idea. Yeah, Peter always had a tiny bladder. He must have wondered off and used the restroom. He hadn't fallen out of the bus during the fall. No way. It was impossible for one of their own to die.

Lancer cleared his throat, and by the expression on his face, Valerie knew he believed the worst had happened to Peter. "If that is the case, then he'll just have to wait with Mr. Taylor. We must get a move on. Ms. Gray, if you please…"

Valerie nodded, grim. She began to walk toward the rock field, the group following close behind her. She couldn't think about the boy who didn't make it.

She just had to protect the civilians that were still alive.

* * *

"I'm really sorry, guys…"

"You've said that a million times now, Danny," Tucker said. "We get the idea."

"It was our own choice to hunt ghosts with you," Sam said.

Tucker nodded, sighing. "Yeah, but if I had known it would keep me from going on the field trip, I –" Tucker snapped his mouth shut. When Sam glared like that, she meant business.

Danny sighed, hanging his head. He had known as soon as Lancer announced the trip that he wouldn't be allowed to go. He had missed too much school, received too many detentions. But when Sam and Tucker had been denied the same thing because of all the burdens they had shouldered for him, he felt like the worst friend ever. It was _his_ fault they cut school, _his_ fault for leaving them to face the penalties for his mistakes, _his_ fault they weren't on their way to Florida this very minute.

Sam rubbed his shoulder. "It's all right, Danny. Really. So we missed one field trip. Big deal! I wouldn't trade our experiences fighting ghosts with you for some lame trip to the beach."

"That's because you're a billionaire, Sam," Tucker said. "Any time you want to go to a beach you can just hop on a jet." Sam reached behind Danny and bopped Tucker on the back of his head. "Ow!"

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up," Danny said, "but I'm the one who should be helping you. How am I ever going to make this up to you guys?"

"Well, now that you mention it—ow!" Tucker rubbed his head, glaring at Sam.

"You don't have to make up anything to us, Danny," Sam said, giving Tucker a pointed look. "We make our own decisions."

Danny dropped his head into his hands. His friends exchanged helpless glances behind his back. Tucker shook his head and leaned back against the couch. He pulled out his PDA and began searching for something interesting. Sam glared at him, but what could he do? If Danny was determined to be all depressed, there was nothing Tucker could do to cheer him up.

Sam rolled her eyes, although she was tempted to give up herself. She wasn't exactly the most cheerful person. Danny should be cheered up by his best friend, not his Goth friend.

"Danny…" she said slowly, "…you can't—"

"Whoa!" Tucker yelled. He shoved the PDA under Danny's nose. "Check this out!"

Danny took the PDA as he sat up straight. His friends leaned against both his shoulders, also watching the small screen. On it a blonde news reporter Danny didn't recognize stood on a cliff road. The railing separating the road from the cliff was broken, as if something large had smashed right through it.

"…_vacation turned to nightmare for visiting Casper High students and faculty members last night when a freak thunderstorm careened their bus off Charlie's Ridge—"_

Danny jumped off the couch, clutching the PDA hard enough to turn his knuckles white. "_What?_"

"How did you find that, Tucker?" Sam demanded.

"I thought Dash or even Mikey might have posted something about the field trip by now," Tucker said, his dark face an odd green-ish color. "That was the first video I got when I searched…"

Danny gestured for his friends to stop talking. Tucker and Sam instantly quieted.

"…_the bus exploded upon impact. Rescuers are still searching the wreckage, but they regrettably report that at this time…" _The reporter held a hand over her hair, trying to keep the wind from blowing it into her face. She stared into the camera with a somber expression as she said softly, _"…there have been no survivors."_

All the energy in Danny's body vanished. He collapsed onto the couch, staring blankly into space. His friends wore similar expressions of shock on their faces.

After a few seconds of silence, Tucker cleared his throat. "This may not be the best time to say it, but…" He threw his arms around Danny's neck. "Thank you so much for getting me into trouble!"

* * *

**Well, I can't do humor all the time :P It gets tedious. My writing has gotten really rusty, though... *Groans* It's terrible! *runs and hides***

**My beta wants me to write a sequal, and I probably could with the 'Death' prompt...More angst and drama...joy...XD NaNoWriMo starts pretty soon, and I'm hoping to post one more chapter before then - either for this collection or one of my other stories. If I fail the challenge of writing a book in a month, you'll see me before December. If I succeed, however, I'll probably be in the habit of writing 1,500+ words a day - meaning faster updates. That's what I'm hoping, at least ;)**

**Just ask if you want me to clarify what happened Valerie and company. No laughs for this Apple, but I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless ;) Okay, then. Thanks for reading!**

**Also: GAAAAhh! Major English assignment due tomorrow and I haven't even started yet! %*&#^#$(!**


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